hello everyone.  it's been a while since i last blogged, and i've almost blogged about 4 times since the last one, but i always get this nervous feeling and then i don't write one.  but today, it just seemed like it was the day.  you see, i'm going through a pretty different (but special, i guess) time in my life and i think i should talk about it.  i'm sure there have been times where others have been through what i'm going through, and maybe together we can share some ideas, and our ideas will become a little stream, and we can pan out some nuggets of wisdom from that little stream....and that was a old time california gold digging metaphor.  FAIL.
have you ever had to sit around and wait for something?  i'm talking about a situation where you know that you have to wait...every bone in your body screams at you that you must wait and you know it's the only way that you'll stay sane.  at the same time, the waiting itself is driving you insane.  being an impatient person like myself, waiting on anything does not always bode well with me.  but i tell you my friends, some things in this life are just worth waiting for.  for some it's a door opening to pursue a calling or a new step in a calling, for others its waiting for a person that you know you could love more than anything else in this world, and still for others its a chance to get out of a situation that has been slowing rotting away at your joy for a long time.  no matter what it is that you must wait for, the only step (and ironically the hardest step ever) is to wait for the right time to move forward.  this whole waiting business is something that we are not used to in the society of today, seeing as how we can have pretty much whatever we want right when we want it.  this might cause anything that you have to wait for to seem like a wasted endeavor...after all, if you're meant to have it, you should have it right then...right??  NOPE.  
EPIC FAIL.  
i am learning that the things that are really worth it in this life are worth waiting for.  there is no other way to fully give God control of something.  we say that we give God control...I say that i'm giving God control, and then i do every thing in my power to make it happen right now.  is that really giving God control of something?  of course its not.  it's just me playing the game and then having to have what i want right when i want it.  all throughout the Bible we are given examples of people and situations where God blessed someone (and blessed them immensely), but they had to wait for it.  not just hours, not just days, not just weeks, not just months...sometimes years and decades.  can you imagine waiting years for something?  DECADES for something?  i almost cannot.  but some things, some opportunities, some very special people are just plain worth the wait.  Romans 8:24 and 25 say: "For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it."  This verse is talking about salvation, the redemption of our bodies and souls, but i think that it can be applied to anything.  sometimes God gives us glimpses into what we can accomplish and be a part of through Him, and these things are almost always so awesome and incredible that they seem impossible...as if only God Himself could accomplish them.  i think that's exactly why He puts these situations and opportunities in our lives; so that we will know that through Him is the only way they can happen.  that's the thing about trusting God (well, when it comes to me): i know that i can trust Him, and everything in my life has always worked out for the best (even in the worst times), but i always get scared when these times come around.  it's not that i don't think He's going to do the right thing, its just that i'm not in control of what is happening so i start thinking that i'm not going to get my way.  man, i'm just very, very selfish sometimes.  it's true though, i'm struggling with this very thing right now in my life.  i know that all i have to do is wait for Him and His perfect timing, and i'm having a fit about it because i want it to work out now so that i know it's done.
what now?
well, it's time to grow up and just trust God.  no more fits, and no more controlling of this thing.  besides, every time i've tried to control something in the past it has gone ca-put and i've always ended up feeling like i should've just let God do what he wanted instead of me going after whatever it was like a crazy person.  

Hebrews 12: 3 says, "Consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." 

no matter how much i can't stand waiting, if i remember that what i'm having to go through is nothing compared to what He went through while He was here with us and waiting on the time to act on His own calling, it doesn't seem so bad.  maybe even Jesus had days where He was tempted with being impatient (matt. 37b?).  but what did He do?  He waited.  
we've got to wait during these times.  we don't know how things will turn out, but we know that God wants us to wait on Him.  pray that His will be done and just wait.  
so, whatever you're going through out there, whatever you're waiting on, how's about we just band together and pray for each other and wait?  it'll be a big 'ol group experiment, and whenever something awesome happens, whenever the vision, glimpse, or idea that God has given you comes to pass in His time we can share it with each other.
please pray for me, that i'll be patient, and you don't lose heart.  we can all do this because God is great and His will is perfect.  and worth the wait.