If you’ve grown up in the past 40 years, you’re hard-wired to believe that the payoff of one’s journey is the Rocky moment… it’s the climbing of the stairs, out of breath, sweating and raising your arms in triumph, and the world cheers; it’s beating the Russian who is better than you, after you’ve been counted out; it’s rising to the challenge and ultimately winning.
Yet the reality of most people’s lives is not the Rocky moment, but a life of ordinary moments – some good, some bad, but everything comes out in the end as pretty average. And in a world made for Rocky moments and Instagram memories, the average journey is seen to be as good as the ones that end with the hero of the story winning or getting what they’ve always wanted.
I’ll admit it. I want the Rocky moment. I want to be more than average. I want my talent and my charisma to carry me and let run (or in my case, walk slowly) up those steps and raise my hands in triumph (exhaustion).
But I’m coming to believe more and more that the point of our lives is redemption – both minor and major – not success according to normal measure.
I was having a conversation with a pastor friend of mine a while back and I was talking about my own failures and the changes I’d made in response. And he looked across the table at me and asked, “Chris, I think you’re really good at identifying what’s wrong in your life and really good at trying to fix it. I wonder if you’re conscious of God’s redemption in those situations?”
I hate to admit it, but I’d not considered this thought before. But I’ve considered it often since. Especially since I began this “comeback” to my artist/songwriter/producer career last year.
I know what I got wrong last time. I allowed the focus to become myself. I allowed myself to become competitive in the realm of art. I allowed myself to be cut off from the people with whom I did ministry. I allowed myself to be consumed by how much money I was making. Etc., etc. There was more I got wrong than right, as I look back. So as I restart, how do I not just identify what I got wrong and repent of it; but how do I see God redeem it?
And that’s the thing. The large part of me wants to have that moment where I sell a Gold record and have number 1 singles and get recognition for what I do. I’ll admit it. That’s what my flesh views as my Rocky moment.
But my redemption is nothing like that. The way I see God redeeming this is through relationship; it’s through provision; it’s through humility. It is in the “average”, not the “victory”. It is every day waking up and building relationships with the pastors and worship leaders I’m booking shows with. It’s submitting myself to what their church needs, instead of what I want (nearly every night these days I do a different set list based upon what the church desires). It’s truly trusting God as my provider, as I go out these days for no guaranteed honorarium, but instead for only love offerings.
My guess is my career over the next few years until I’m done looks like this: pretty average. Yet daily I am blown away by how God moves. Every day I’m excited to see who God brings in my path; by what church I can breathe God’s love to; by what worship leader I get to be in relationship and pour what wisdom I’m afforded into; by what those worship leaders pour into me!
That is success. That is redemption.
And it reminds me that the Apostle Paul’s journey didn’t end with a Rocky moment, but with losing his life. That was success. That was redemption. And yet he proclaimed every step of the way how happy he was, how thankful he was, how incredible the God he served was.
That’s what I want.