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Artist List   /   The Little Wretches   /   Red Beets and Horseradish


10. Old Lillian's Story

Red Beets and Horseradish
by The Little Wretches


That man, he gets me so aggravated.
He tells the landlord that I leave the door open and I have cats. Do you believe that?
I never leave the door open, and he's the one with the cat.
Oh, it's a nice one. But, you know, they tell me cats are hard luck.
But not this cat, he's a nice cat.
But he's not my cat.
I don't have a cat.

That man, he won't leave me alone.
He calls me names, the worst names,
The worst names he can think of.
He bothers me so much.
I don't bother him.
But he won't leave me alone.
And heís gonna get it.

They tell me call the police on him.
And I ought to call the police on him,
but I'd probably get in into worse trouble than he would
'cause he tells lies,
He lies about me all the time.
I can't take his bothering me all the time like that.

I oughta pick up a hammer or something
And get him with it.
That's what the family next door tells me.
But I'd go straight to jail.
Some people get away with murder, but not me.
I'd kill him with that hammer,
and Coroner Wecht would come and get me right away.

I can't live in that place anymore.
There's junk everywhere:
On the floors, on the steps,
Boards, tools, doorknobs,
All kinds of junk.
Twice, I've fallen down.
I had to have someone take me to the hospital for x-rays.
Twice, it happened.
I fell down and hit my head,
And it hurt.

There were these boys living on the third floor,
and I don't know what they were doing,
but they caught their apartment on fire.
They moved out.
I don't think they got into trouble.
But that was last summer,
and the landlord never did finish having it cleaned up.
There's live wires hanging from the ceiling.
That could kill you, you know.

And there's this man comes stumbling in every night
about three in the morning,
and he makes a terrible racket in all that junk.
He's a mean old man.
He's a dry cleaner, I think.
Oh, he's nasty, but he'll never call you a name,
Not like that other one.
That other one calls you all kinds of names.
And heís gonna get it.

He takes sleeping pills,
and I know he's gonna kill himself with them.
He sleeps all day, sometimes.
One day, they'll find him dead,
and they'll probably blame it on me.

That man, that no good man, that no good lying man
That man, that no good man, that no good lying man
That man, that no good man, that no good lying man
Heís gonna get it

I don't have any heat.
It's like an icebox sometimes,
And I can't get anybody to light my oven.
I tried myself, but it flew up in my face, the flame did,
Burned my eyes.
So now I can't even heat water for instant coffee.
That's what I have,
instant coffee and two pieces of bread a day.
I don't even feel like eating.

Just when I'm getting out of it,
That man gets me upset all over again.
The girls down at the market say I have to eat more.
They say I'll get malnutrition.
That can kill you, you know.
Sometimes, I think I'd be better off dead.

The landlord's coming tomorrow.
He's gonna want his hundred dollars.
A hundred dollars a month-- do you believe it?
He'll get it over my dead body.
He doesn't leave his phone number or address.
He just shows up once a month and wants his money.
If he finds me dead, it'll be his fault.

I donít know what Iím going to do.
I donít know what Iím going to do.
This life is hell, Iím telling you.
Iím telling you the truth.

That man, heís gonna get it, Heís gonna get it.
Someday that man will get whatís rightfully due.
That man, heís gonna get it, Heís gonna get it.
But the sorry thing is Iíll probably get it, too.
The sorry thing is Iíll probably get it, too.
The sorry thing is Iíll probably get it, too.
The sorry thing is Iíll probably get it, too.

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