This past couple years has included a lot of changes for my life. From starting at Lancaster Bible College in January 2006, spending the last two years there, and now coming home to figure out God's next step for my life, He's been there through everything.
LBC has been my life for the past couple years, and now coming home is a definite change for me. I've always loved music, and for the past year I've been planning on going into the music industry, working for and with the bands we here at JfH love. It's always been a dream of mine. But is it a worthwhile goal? Is it something that is worth putting time, effort, money, and ultimately, your whole life into? These are some of the questions that have plagued my mind in the past few weeks and months. While music and the industry is definitely rewarding, it's also very demanding. It's not like you can get a degree in something and go right up to working with bands like Relient K or someone else famous. It takes hard work.
It's things like this that make me go back to the younger days of my life and wonder, how could things be if...say, this happened? If I had taken a few extra classes in high school. If I had dated a certain person for longer. If I hadn't been a Christian, even. I'm sure we all wonder these things. But what we need to remember is that Christ has been there through it all, and even before it all. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a cop. Somewhere along the line I gave up on that, and moved on to an astronaut, or moved on to wanting to be a teacher. Through time, I went to LBC and felt God calling me to youth ministry, but my professors saw that it was an impulsive thought, just wanting to be like someone else, to make them happy. As my time ended at LBC this year, I felt my love for music grow stronger, and it pulled me in, as if God's will had changed, saying that my passion was something to build my life upon. But recently, I've felt like if I go into the industry, I'll be working with something I love, and one day that love will turn to hate. I'll get sucked into the wrong side of the industry, and maybe lose my love for music altogether. I know it may sound absurd, but I don't want to take that chance, at times. It's things like this that go through my mind, making me think that maybe I should look into criminal justice, something I really am interested in, and have been since I was a kid.
While this all sounds so empty and like I'm losing my mind (I hope not), it reminds me more and more that wherever He leads, I will follow. For a while that was LBC, now it's coming home and figuring out what step is next. This is just a reminder to all of you, whenever it seems like God's will is far, far from what you can ever imagine, He's still there, willing to take you there, one step at a time. Knowing God's will is never easy, and we need to constantly pray, meditating in His presence, giving Him our lives, and He'll be there. I hope you're encouraged by this, I know it's something I needed to be reminded of, especially recently.