“Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him; I will surely defend my ways to his face.” –Job 13:15.

Chronic pain, whether internal or external, has a way of changing a person. It is hard to believe God is good when one’s body or mind becomes a prison. Sometimes when I’m in pain, I can think about it theologically, knowing that pain is a result of the fall of man and that one day, everything will be made right. Most of the time though, the best I can do is repeat the phrase, “Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him.”

I am not a big “theme verse” kind of person, but something about these words that Job wrote so many years ago resonates with me. Six years ago, I started having health problems, and my life completely changed. I had to abandon many of the plans and dreams I once had and instead learn about medications, insurance coverage, and alternative treatments.

I try to take the bad things in life and learn from them, and my illness is no exception. I am more aware of the suffering of others, and I am a more compassionate person now than I was before I got sick. I’ve learned that life is less about what you do and more about who you do it with. Sometimes things get hard and nothing makes sense. However, more and more I am realizing that God is the most real when He seems the most impossible.

Hope is a small word with huge implications. For followers of Christ, it is the single ray of light in the deepest of darkness. It is important in the midst of pain and suffering to hold on to hope and to continue to dream. One dream that has never left me is a desire to go to Antarctica. When I was a child, my mother gave me a copy of the book Mr. Popper’s Penguins, a book her mother read to her when she was a child. Ever since I read that book, I have imagined exploring the icy continent and walking amongst the penguins. Almost three years ago, I met a man who did not think my dream was crazy, and I was lucky enough to marry him. He promised me that one day we would walk hand in hand in Antarctica, and I believe him.

Like Job, we will all experience varying degrees of suffering before we trade this world for a better one. There is no formula or theological concept I can give that will make suffering easier. I do not know if I will ever get better and be able to do the things I once did or accomplish the goals I set for myself. What I do know is, dreams are worth dreaming, and hope is worth holding on to. Even when He seems the furthest away, God is with us and will not abandon us. I hope, dear readers, that whatever pain you are going through, you never give up hope and that you find your Antarctica.

*You can help my dream of visiting Antarctica come true by voting for an essay I wrote. Go to http://www.adventurewithjulie.com/blogs/view/235 and register to vote. You will receive a confirmation email with a link that you must click on in order for your vote to count. Thank you for your help.

-- Laura (Nunnery) Love