I can feel it building up inside
The images that play inside my mind
The dreams that I’ve been dreaming all my life
The colors that live outside of the lines
But dreams aren’t all I hide beneath this skin
The cord is cut, the fears and doubts begin
My hope is anchored on the other side
With the colors that live outside of the lines
And the oceans roll
And the wheel’s in spin
And the old chorus soars
Bring me back,
bring me back to the beginning again
With the corrugated LA harbor stacks
With the weight of these machines across my back
I know a mountain road where time unwinds
But I'm busy living in a single-file line
And it all just sounds like poison on my ears
The background noise makes your voice so hard to hear
So I grit my teeth and straighten up my spine
I’m stuck in traffic on a dotted yellow line
And my heart is yours
And what a broken place it's in
But you're what I'm running for
And I want to feel the wind at my back again
Back to the beginning again
Back to the beginning again
I want to feel the wind at my back again
Back to the beginning again
Behind the Song:"I want to know God's thoughts...the rest are details."
-Albert Einstein
There's a point during every tour where you begin to question the purpose of the journey. As you play the songs over and again and you start to wonder whether any song you've ever written is any good. You look back and all you can see are the mistakes. You look forward and all you can see is futility. You wonder whether your life has all been just one big mistake.
At least I do.
Maybe it's just me. But it happens to me every time. Like clockwork, two thirds of the way through the tour, I start to get depressed. Yes, I love what I do. Yes, It's the best job on the planet. And yes, I'm aware of how many folks would literally chop off a finger to have the day that I have: playing music for a living.
In fact, right now there are millions of souls under the oppression of injustice, human trafficking, HIV-AIDs, hunger, disease, and the tyranny of man. And I live in the luxury of knowing that my family will eat and drink and have a bed to sleep in tonight. And now I'm not only depressed, but now I'm feeling guilty. And then I feel even guilty about my depression!
These are moments that drive me back to the ultimate source of life and love and joy- yes, the creator/re-creator himself. "Bring me back, bring me back to the beginning again." There is no joy to be found in my dead wells, my dried up fountains. I am stuck in the traffic of my dead end thoughts. I long to run free, with the colors that live outside the lines. But these dreams of freedom are mixed with hesitation; my fears and doubts began the day I was born. And yet, my hope is anchored on the other side of life and death with the colors that live outside of the lines.
My heart is yours
and what a broken state it's in
but you're what I'm running for
and I want to feel the wind on my back again
--
Jon Foreman