He said I wasn't going to heaven,
Then I'll see him down in hell,
I thought I was going to heaven,
Now it's very hard to tell,
I hold these views but I get no respect,
Theo says, "That's not theologically correct"

My grandmother's up there waiting,
She spoke to me one night, said, "There're millions of us praying that you will be alright."
I hold these views but I get no respect,
Theo says, "That's not theologically correct"

Jesus spoke to me only once, audibly for sure,
When I was down on my luck he offered me the cure,
He said, "This trial is over"
Haven't heard that voice since then,
We both agree I'm a sinner and what happens in the end.
I hold these views but I get no respect,
Theo says, "That's not theologically correct"

I had a quarter in my pocket, I pumped way too much gas,
Like those bread and fishies, my little quarter turned to cash.
I hold these views but I get no respect,
Theo says, "That's not theologically correct"

I said that God's a mystery, so much that's hard to tell,
Theo said I wasn't going to heaven,
Then I'll see him down in hell,
I hold these views but I get no respect,
I guess that we just don't philosophically connect.