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Professional Rapper  cover
03. I Haven't Been Myself
Album: Professional Rapper
Artist: John Reuben
         
 

I’m not alright, I haven’t been myself lately
I’m not okay with the way I’ve let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I’m not here for long
I’ll see you when I’m better
I'll see you when I'm better

It’s gotta get worse to get better
It went from no way, never to okay, whatever
Slowly but surely and sure as sure is blurry
Now things that once were me are no longer
Every so often God reminds me
But I’m always there in front to blind me
I value my pride more than peace of mind
My precious pride
There was a time when I had control but I let it go
I watched the world pass in slowmo
My life’s ahead of me
I can’t catch up
Stuck in a rut
I went too willingly
These thoughts are killing me
I wish I could control myself but I can’t
Or can I?
Man I’m gone
I hope I’m not here for long
It’s just a visit
Ashamed of who I’ve become
It’s not really me
Or is it?

I’m not alright, I haven’t been myself lately
I’m not okay with the way I’ve let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I’m not here for long
I’ll see you when I’m better

Thoughts lead to emotion which led to action
I hate the fact that it happened
“The Lord can forgive and forget”
But I’m not able to do it
Maybe there is where the problem lies
I’m unable to forgive myself plus I’m too proud to ask for help
Whelp, sorry for who I’ve become
I guess circumstances can leave you numb
Plus, I refused accountability
It seemed like such small things you found in me
I called you secluded and illuded to the fact that your concerns were silly
Don’t over-react
Now looking back in hindsight, heh
I’m able to see that you were right
Is it too late for me?
I know it’s not
It’s just up to me to choose to stop

I’m not alright, I haven’t been myself lately
I’m not okay with the way I’ve let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I’m not here for long
I’ll see you when I’m better


 

More Lyrics from Professional Rapper

  1. 01. Move
  2. 02. Have No Opinion?
  3. 03. I Haven't Been Myself
  4. 04. Life Is Short
  5. 05. Treats
  6. 06. Freedom To Feel
  7. 07. Time to Leave
  8. 08. Re-Record
  9. 09. Jammin' John & Mixin' Manny
  10. 10. All In All
  11. 11. 5 Years To Write
  12. 12. Higher
                 
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This Friday, Friday, November 6
ALBUMS
Big Daddy Weave It's Time For Christmas - EP [Curb]
Hillside Recording & Addy Prado Come and See - EP (independent)
Meadows DESERT WALKER (CD) [Facedown Records]
Mystical Death Across [Rottweiler]
Chris Tomlin Good News Of Great Joy (Christmas Songs Of Worship) [Capitol CMG]
We Are Messengers Rejoice! (A Celtic Christmas LIVE) [Curb]
Mark Wills Grand Ole Revival [Gaither]

SINGLES
Olivia Lane Hark! The Herald Angels Sing - Single [BEC]
Tasha Layton & Dave Barnes What Should I Get You For Christmas - Single [BEC]
Blessing Offor The King Has Come - Single [Capitol CMG]
Hunter Plake Holly Jolly Christmas - Single [BEC]
River Valley Worship Come and Behold - Single [BEC]
Tae Lamar, YP aka Young Paul The Re-Up - Single [Polished Arrow]
Vineyard Worship Jesus Our Christ - Single [Vineyard]

VINYL
Meadows DESERT WALKER Vinyl [Facedown]

Next Wednesday, November 11
ALBUMS
Anberlin Currency [Equal Vision]

Next Friday, November 13
ALBUMS
Blanca A Christmas To Remember [Curb]
Amy Grant Tennessee Christmas: 10th Anniversary Edition [Capitol CMG/AG]
Jackie Hill Perry Still Blameless (Deluxe) [Velvet Blue]
Leem of the Earth See [Velvet Blue]
Tye Tribbett V20: First Semester (Live) [Freligious]

SINGLES
Josh Grove Glory - Single (independent)
Living Again Get This Far - Single (independent)
Magdalene Rose the terrifying reality of it all - Single [Rockfest]
Hunter Plake Silver Bells - Single [BEC]
Matthew Plante OVEN MITT! - Single [Dream]
Jordan St. Cyr Angels We Have Heard On High - Single [BEC]
Natasha Zimbaro Emmanuel - Single [Wings]

For all release dates, click here!