Get the new FREE JFH MP3 compilation -- Vol. 14!
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JFH Song Lyrics

  Artist List   /   John Reuben   /   Professional Rapper


         


03. I Haven't Been Myself

Professional Rapper
by John Reuben



 

I’m not alright, I haven’t been myself lately
I’m not okay with the way I’ve let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I’m not here for long
I’ll see you when I’m better
I'll see you when I'm better

It’s gotta get worse to get better
It went from no way, never to okay, whatever
Slowly but surely and sure as sure is blurry
Now things that once were me are no longer
Every so often God reminds me
But I’m always there in front to blind me
I value my pride more than peace of mind
My precious pride
There was a time when I had control but I let it go
I watched the world pass in slowmo
My life’s ahead of me
I can’t catch up
Stuck in a rut
I went too willingly
These thoughts are killing me
I wish I could control myself but I can’t
Or can I?
Man I’m gone
I hope I’m not here for long
It’s just a visit
Ashamed of who I’ve become
It’s not really me
Or is it?

I’m not alright, I haven’t been myself lately
I’m not okay with the way I’ve let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I’m not here for long
I’ll see you when I’m better

Thoughts lead to emotion which led to action
I hate the fact that it happened
“The Lord can forgive and forget”
But I’m not able to do it
Maybe there is where the problem lies
I’m unable to forgive myself plus I’m too proud to ask for help
Whelp, sorry for who I’ve become
I guess circumstances can leave you numb
Plus, I refused accountability
It seemed like such small things you found in me
I called you secluded and illuded to the fact that your concerns were silly
Don’t over-react
Now looking back in hindsight, heh
I’m able to see that you were right
Is it too late for me?
I know it’s not
It’s just up to me to choose to stop

I’m not alright, I haven’t been myself lately
I’m not okay with the way I’ve let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I’m not here for long
I’ll see you when I’m better

 

 

 

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This Friday, November 7, 2025
ALBUMS
Biscuits Country Fried LoFi - EP [Circle Back]
Jekalyn Carr JEKALYN X LEGENDS [WayNorth]
DAMIAN DAMIAN [DREAM]
Josh Garrels Peace To All Who Enter Here, Vol. 2 (independent)
Amy Jay Mnemonics (independent)
(UN)WORTHY From the Belly of the Beast - EP (independent)

SINGLES
Dave Barnes Santa's Gotta Go - Single (independent)
Gracie Binion Gunpowder - Single [BEC]
Biscuits Country Fried LoFi - Single [Circle Back]
Cutright Gram Cracker - Single [Syntax]
Good Things Collective Rejoice! - Single [Real Fun]
Hillside Recording Everlasting Father - Single (independent)
Ian Austin, Heather Suzanne Somewhere Far - Single (independent)
K3hlab Lord You Are - Single [Syntax]
Kelo The Break-Up - Single [Syntax]
Tasha Layton Christmas All Year Long - Single [BEC]
Life.Church Worship Tanto - Single (independent)
Limoblaze Esé - Single [Reach]
Myles Maestro falling 4 u - Single [Syntax]
Kevi Morse Yeen ain't wit it - Single [Syntax]
Jeannie Ortega Boyfriend - Single [Syntax]
Prodi Da Prodigal Modus Operandi - Single [Syntax]
Sacrificial Betrayal Take Risk - Single (independent)
Zane Walls YOU ARE THE FIRE (feat. JontheKid) - Single (independent)
Rhett Walker Carol of the Bells - Single [BEC]

Next Friday, November 14, 2025
ALBUMS
Emery White Line Fever (Remastered) - Disc One (independent)
Kings Kaleidoscope Asaph's Arrows II EP [BEC]
Ronnie Martin Evergreen Melodie [Velvet Blue]
NF FEAR - EP [Capitol]
Rave Jesus I MET GOD ON THE DANCEFLOOR [Provident]
The Young Escape Not Done Yet [BEC]

SINGLES
Biscuits Drifting Off (Hayloft) - Single [Circle Back]
Richard Lynch Why Me Lord - Single [MTS]
NEEDTOBREATHE Where You Call Home - Single [Omnivore]
Hunter Plake Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas - Single [BEC]


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