*=Paraphrase

(Scientology, also called Dianetics)

Listen to Ron Hubbard's son
"Dad was con-man number one
Through black magic dabbling
and drugs his books were born"*

Dianetics says I am
a reincarnated Thetan god
If I by E-Meter
M.E.S.T. a-ok
L.R.H. says, "Jesus never
reached potential grade"*

(The Watchtower, also called Jehovah's Witnesses)

Jehovah's Witness make the claim
"The only prophet of today"
But every prophecy was fake
And so they upped the date

As they read their bible wrong
John 1:1 "The Word was a god"
"Triune God is of Babylon
The Church is of the beast."

"144,001 and all that follow
Jonadabs that cannot go to Heaven"

I was fooled again
I had made up my mind
That truth comes in styles

I was fooled again
Wastin' my time
With life changing lies

(The New Age)

My self I love so much
Because the New Age teaches me
"The source of good and secrets lie within"

If this present life ain't good
astral to the past one dude
"You can make adjustments
In your linear time zone."

"God is you and you are God
So whatever you decide is right..."*
Right? (S. MacLaine)

(Mormonism, also known as Latter-Day Saints)

Joseph Smith a Mormon god
Murdered men, condemned of fraud
An angel gave him golden plates
Which no one ever saw

(Faith Movement)

K.C. says that "Christ was lost
Sign of Satan on the cross
Bore the Devil's nature
and was born again in Hell"

If you've got a little bod
"You can all become a god"
Benny hinders true conversion
"Christ is not within"

"I have faith in my own faith
Cause I'm a little god" (Hagin)

I was fooled again
A message from God
That was only a fraud
Truth and joy was inside
But it's only in Christ
By a spiritual force
That had disguised its source
By the Lord's latest mail
But a novel from Hell