Josh "Dies" Porter: Would it be helpful if we said our names before we give our answers?
Patrick Porter: When [Drew] says "Drew," he really means "Andy."
Josh: When you write this, can you write "Andy" instead of "Drew?"
Josh: Well, since he [Patrick] started the band and called it Showbread, it's been thirteen years in December. But since we started doing this "type" of Showbread, that began more or less in like 2000 or '99. The first couple years were more of something completely different. But it was all called Showbread, so I'll say about thirteen years. Thirteen years strong. Same spirit.
Josh: Nope, Patrick started the band.
Patrick: I started the band.
Patrick: It's okay, nobody does. *laughter* But let's put the word out there! And hey, if it wasn't for me... somebody else would've done it probably.
Drew Porter: I started about a year and a half ago. My first tour was the Nothing Matters Anymore Tour in the fall of 2009.
Garrett Holmes: I started playing with these guys after Anorexia Nervosa came out. So, a few years ago.
Garrett: My favorite album is Who Can Know It. The special edition.
Garrett: Yes. Who Can Know It? is the first album that me and Drew recorded on.
Patrick: Sounds a little decided there.
Garrett: Yeah, I'm a little biased.
Patrick: My favorite is also Who Can Know It?, but I also really like The Fear of God. It's nothing to sneeze at. Hey, none of them are nothing to sneeze at.
Drew: No, they're all good. But my favorite is also Who Can Know It?, but I think [Age of] Reptiles is right after that. And then like a tiny, tiny scoche behind Reptiles is The Fear of God. Those are probably actually about the same. I really like those about equally.
Josh: I like Who Can Know It? the best, too. 'Cause the way I see it, if the newest album isn't your favorite album, then why did you make the record? You should make one that you want to hear. One that you like even better, and the next one. Each time. So I guess they go in order backwards to me. Which isn't to say that I dislike Nihilism. I still like it as much as I did then, which is a lot. I'm very happy with that album. But I like each record in different ways a little more each time, I think. They're all so different, so it's nice to go through the discography. Even the new guys all like to listen to Showbread. And again...you know, some guys are like 'Oh you guys listen to yourselves?' If you don't wanna listen to your own band, then why in the world are you in this band making this music?
Patrick: This is Patrick. I agree. *laughter*
Garrett: That was Scott.
Garrett: Are you gonna know when you listen to this if it's Scott talking?
Garrett: Scott just said 'I hope so.'
Josh: Scott has lost his train of thought. Write that down like '*loses train of thought*...lol.'
Josh: This is how we approached it. I walked up to it, and I said to Who Can Know It?, I said 'Who Can Know It?, I see you sitting there, waiting to turn into this raw, awesome album. And you know what? I wanna help you with that.' And Who Can Know It? said [in a girly voice] 'Help me, Big J. Help me turn into the album I know I can be.' That's Who Can Know It? talking. And I said 'Who Can Know It?, you seem kinda like a sissy from the outside, but you're kinda soft and subdued and really haunting. I like you.' And Who Can Know It? said 'That's the way I am, I was born this way. Don't judge me for the way I was born.' And I said 'I'm not, Who Can Know It.' And Who Can Know It? said 'Be brave. Step into me. Maybe less people who like hardcore music will hate this record and you can get rid of them.' *laughter* And I said 'I like the way you think, Who Can Know It. Come here.' And then I started hugging on Who Can Know It?, then I was like 'Dang, *kissing sounds*,' and I started smooching on Who Can Know It. That was me and Who Can Know It? smooching. And then, all of a sudden, Garrett and Drew walked outside and they were all like 'What are y'all doing??' And I said 'Oh!' and I pushed Who Can Know It? away and said 'We were just talking!' And they said 'We saw you.' And then we all hugged together, and that's how we approached the album. I think it came out really good, in spite of all those things. *laughter*
We we went in the garage and we were writing all of these songs, the four of us. We spent a year writing it, almost. And everyday we'd work on these songs and say 'Let's not do any of the things we used to do.' That was kinda the rule. And we would write and play based on that. And if someone said 'Oh this is starting to sound like the last record' then we would change it around. Yeah, all the records are different, but we wanted this one to be so different that people would be like 'Is this the same band?' And I think we did that. For better or worse, we did that.
Garrett: Those songs that do not appear on the record are, as of right now, just demos. We didn't flesh them out into full songs, so we thought it would be nice to give folks a little taste on the special edition of the album...
Josh: The special edition was like 'Hey why can't I be a part of this?'
Garrett: And the songs were like 'We wanna be in there toooooooooooooo!' *laughter*
Josh: And we recorded those songs one day in my apartment, and Drew wasn't there. So I just want everyone to know that he participated in no way for the bonus songs. He couldn't get off Facebook long enough to come and help us record.
Drew: That's not true.
Josh: Me and Garrett and Patrick ate McRibs and they were really gross. And Garrett had never had one, so he bought two. So it was double gross. And for some reason we waited till like nine o'clock to start, and then we were doing it until like four o'clock in the morning.
Patrick: I missed an episode of Saturday Night Live because of this.
Drew: What Josh said about Facebook is not true.
Patrick: Strike that from the record.
Drew: At the time I was working at a major retail corporation and I could not get off work.
Josh: They had insurance on him in case he died.
Garrett: This is everybody in world speaking: Drew's lying about this. *laughter* This is Facebook speaking: Hey, Drew, I don't like you as much as you like me.
Josh: Yeah, this is Facebook: You're starting to creep me out, Drew. Everyone needs at least a little life. Please get off and do something else.
Garrett: This is Drew's friends speaking: We miss you man.
Drew: I got nothing. That's it really. Next question.
Josh: There were actually nineteen demos for Who Can Know It. And...how many songs are on the record? Ten? Yeah, ten of those are on the album. And I think two of those demos are on the special edition. But we wrote a whole lot of songs. The original plan was to write fifty, and then to pick ten from those. But then when we got to twenty, we were already wondering how we were gonna pick from those twenty, so we stopped. True story.
Josh: I don't think so. Most of the demos don't sound really good 'cause I recorded them on my laptop. The songs were pretty good. We had a couple of pretty good ones that didn't make it to the record.
Drew: But also, those were released as part of the special edition. So if you want them, feel free to get a copy of the special edition.
Josh: You're not gonna hear the other ones. They sound exactly like Nihilism, and you'll never hear them.
Drew: The ones that didn't make it to the record are Nihilism copycats.
Josh: Yeah, there's screaming all the way through, and they sound just like Nihilism, but harder, with breakdowns.
Patrick: I don't remember it like that at all. They sound like Who Can Know It? songs from what I remember. *laughter*
Josh: This interview is silly. *laughter*
Josh: Right now, we see cruising with Come&Live! as far as the road takes us. 'Cause Come&Live! is still pretty fresh and new, and I think that road is just as open for them as it is for us. They're figuring out everything, and they've got some big things on the horizon. And we wanna be there for it. We joined up with them before they had it all completely figured out, and we wanna be there with them as they grow and be a part of things. We really like it. We believe in them, they believe in us. It's a great partnership.
Josh: Come&Live!'s only contract was like an artist creed, and it had absolutely nothing to do with any kind of financial or copyright ownership or anything. It was like a ten- or twelve-point contract that said things like "I, as an artist, will pledge to glorify God with my music" and on and on and on. It was really cool. And we all read it together and prayed about it and we signed it. In blood.
Josh: And then, as soon as we did - it was weird - it burst into flames and Chad Johnson's face was in the fire and he said "Got you." I don't know what that meant. *laughter*
Josh: Do you think so?
Josh: If nothing else, we were impressed.
Josh: All the albums we did before we were signed are on our forum, Raw Rock Militia. Our fans run it. We told them it was okay and they put them all together where you can go on and download it at RawRockMilitia.com. But uh, don't, 'cause they suck. Trust me.
Garrett: Scott, if you already knew that, why did you ask us the question?
Patrick: That's the purpose of the interview, Garrett.
Garrett: Okay, okay.
Josh: *holds up a roll of paper towels and speaks in a high, squeaky voice* This is Paper Towels speaking: I use myself to clean up a mess! *laughter* But everytime I do, I lose a part of myself. And I feel sad.
Patrick: Today Garrett saw some girls and he was dancing around trying to show off for them, and he kicked over my Crush.
Garrett: Um... *laughter*
Josh: Write that. Write "Um..." Hey, Garrett and Drew... Patrick and I are married. To two different ladies. And Garrett and Drew have no romantic leanings right now. But they're not necessarily desperate for female companionship. But you know, they'd like to meet a nice lady who loves the Lord and who wants to just go along with them on this journey of life. Garrett? He's not had the best of luck with the ladies, and I can't say that Drew has either. I mean, their standards have to be pretty low. I mean, let's look at them.
Garrett: But our standards are really high. *laughter*
Josh: Their standards are really high. And if you're interested, it's garrett @ showbread.net and drew @ showbread.net. Just make sure that you make the subject line "potential girlfriend." Or no no no, let's cut to the chase: "potential wife."
Josh: I got one for you, Scott. *in reference to Scott's brave Saint Saturn shirt* What's your favorite brave Saint Saturn album?
Josh: That's my favorite too. But Anti-Meridian is nothing to sneeze at. I think it's just that I've had The Light of Things Hoped For longer than Anti-Meridian so it has a better place in my heart.
Josh: Okay, I like that. It's a good record. Okay now you have questions.
Josh: Me and Patrick, and Drew is trying to be in Knife To Meet You now. He's been working on his punk beats, and they've been coming along pretty good. He's been listening to some Misfits records to practice. 'Cause essentially, Knife To Meet You is a rip-off of the Misfits. I guess every horror punk band is.
Patrick: It wouldn't be bad if Garrett joined, but he's too hipster to do it. He's like 'Is this gonna be on vinyl? Can I wear a leather jacket? No? I can't do it.'
Drew: Wearing fake glasses.
Josh: Garrett's saying things like *in Garrett's voice* 'Can we make this more folky?' Write that I said this in Garrett's voice. 'Can we make this more folky? That's kinda what's hip right now. Maybe we could add a mandolin and I could sing it like this: *in shaky, indie voice* "Oh, zombies." That's how hipsters sing.'
Patrick: Garrett's like *in Garrett's voice* 'Hey can I get a boombox over here? Like an 80s style one? And um...' *laughter*
Garrett: What are you even talking about?
Josh: *in Garrett's voice* 'Will this be covered in Relevant or Spin magazine? That's where I go for my music sources, 'cause I'm really hip. Is this Sanford & Sons, 'cause I really like that.' *laughter*
Josh: *in Garrett's voice* 'No, Sanford & Sons. *laughter* Let me check out my social networking outlets and make sure this is cool enough before I listen to it.'
Drew: *in Garrett's voice* 'Let me check my Tumblr.'
Josh: *in Garrett's voice* 'Check my Tumblr. If there's a picture of this band with a filter over it to make it looks vintage, then I know it's cool, and I can listen to it.' Oh yeah, and 'I never brush my teeth.' *laughter* 'I have a really bad bout of hemorrhoids going on right now. I need some help. I don't have enough money to get to the doctor. It hurts to sit down. Help me, help me.' Paper Towels: I'm baaaaack! *laughter* Sometimes I feel empty inside, like I'm hollow. Pray for me. I'm fasting. *laughter*
Drew: This is gonna be fun, transcribing this.
Josh: Yes. I'm working on a second Dies record right now. I'm writing it and recording it. I'm gonna ask Drew if he wants to play drums on it. Drew, would you like to play drums on the new Dies album?
Drew: Yeah, I guess so.
Josh: Patrick played bass on a song on the first Dies record. Hey Patrick, will you play some bass on this one?
Josh: Garrett hasn't been involved yet, so I wanna know if he will rap on the new Dies record. Garrett, would you consider rapping on the new Dies record?
Josh: Okay, this just became a Showbread album.
Josh: Don't print that, 'cause that's really what we're doing. *whispers* But print that I said that. People will think it's funny. And print that I said that. *laughter*
Garrett: And then that!
Josh: Just a few days ago, I texted Reese about Thieves' Guild, and he said he's ready to work on it, but he's moving to Virginia. I think he said Virginia. Anyway, he's got a wife and a kid now, and he texted me and it said 'I procreated and it looks like this' and there was a picture attached to it of a baby. That was his way of telling me that he had sired a child. And me and Patrick had recorded like four demos for Thieves' Guild and we gave them to Reese to work on and sing on, and this was literally three years ago. So it's all just hanging on Reese. Please print this. It's all Reese's fault. People are waiting for this, people ask us about it all the time, 'cause they want to hear it 'cause it would be great. And it will be great if Reese will ever do anything. Come on, Reese. Please.
Josh: He'll probably say - this is Reese's voice - 'Oh man, you're right. I suck. Okay, I'm gonna work on it this time, I just need to finish this other thing I'm working on.' And then two years later, he'll say the same thing. One day, maybe the Thieves' Guild will do something. Our half, or two thirds of it, has already done stuff. We're waiting on Reese. Stupid Reese. That new Five Iron DVD was good though.
Garrett: Everything we own is sitting outside in a parking lot and nobody's watching it right now. I wonder if it's still there.
Josh: Please print that, and then it'll be funny if it turns out that nothing's there.
Josh: Other than the rapping thing, we haven't really thought about it that much, 'cause Who Can Know It? is still so fresh. But you know, there's always something going through your head about what it might be like. I guess we'll see when the time comes. We're trying to tour a whole lot on Who Can Know It? 'cause we like playing those songs.
Patrick: We would like to only do free tours, if possible. But what we need is for people like Scott to step up and help us out. There's not a lot of people who wanna do that. Help us!
Josh: We plan to keep trying to do free tours whenever we can work them out. We don't need money in our pockets to do free tours, but we need money in our gas tank to do free tours. So whenever it is possible, we plan on doing it. We have a whole year planned out in touring, and this is the only free one that we're doing. But we want to make free tours a regular, if not main thing.
Patrick: Who would make more than one bottle of that stuff after they tasted it? It's really bad.
Josh: That ginger ale was boo-ty.
Garrett: I've had worse. Like grape soda.
Josh: I would drink a full case of that ginger ale over one can of Dr. Pepper, because Dr. Pepper is revolting.
Paper Towels: I can't drink any soda. It soaks me up. And I get soggy. I get really soggy, and one day I'm gonna die. There won't be anything left. Just a tube. That's my skeleton. *laughter* And someone's gonna put my skeleton in the trash. That's how paper towels do a burial ceremony. And then, hopefully, if all goes according to plan, I'm gonna go to a recycling plant - that's like Heaven - and I'm gonna be remade! Because paper towels have their own Eastern religion. It's like reincarnation. *laughter* And I'm trying to reach nirvana. If I can become one with everything, I will achieve nirvana, and my spirit will become enlightened. And my skeleton will become a new roll of paper towels. Or maybe some other cardboard thing! *laughter*
Patrick: You better get out while you can. It won't get much better than this. Dang, it's been almost thirty minutes?!
Drew: Please write up everything that Paper Towels just said.
Josh: I got it from a costume shop. I guess it's just like clown make up. But a little goes a long way, so I guess it'll last for a while.
Patrick: Hey, Andy is scared of everything. He's scared of shoes with velcro on them, he's scared of pants that have holes in the knees, he's scared of bunnies...
Drew: My name is not Andy. It's Drew.
Josh: Andy's scared of sideburns, he's scared of furrowed brows, Andy is scared of unibrows, Andy is scared of the waddle that hangs from old ladies' arms, Andy is scared of uvulas, Andy is scared of floppy disks, Andy is scared of Roman candles - not when they're shooting, just Roman candles in general.
Garrett: Just candles that are made in Italy.
Josh: Yep. Andy is scared of The Vatican, Andy is scared of The Exorcist.
Garrett: Andy's scared of curtains, he's scared of red M&M's.
Patrick: Andy's scared of underwear with too-tight a waistband, Andy's scared of the thought of not getting to Facebook on a regular basis.
Garrett: Andy is scared of if a flip flop is made out of leather instead of rubber. It terrifies him.
Josh: Andy's scared of packing peanuts, the kind that dissolve in water, he's scared of corrugated cardboard, like the kind with the edges, and Andy's scared of when people carry big things, Andy's scared of yellow umbrellas.
Garrett: Andy's scared if his sheets have too high of a thread count. *laughter* 'Cause he's scared of math!
Patrick: Andy's scared if skateboards have red wheels.
Josh: Andy's scared of brooms that look like dogs. *laughter*
Garrett: I guess I would be too.
Drew: This is Drew, and...
Josh: Who's Drew? We're talking about Andy.
Drew: I'm scared of less than half of that stuff.
Patrick: But some of them are on the list.
Josh: Paper Towels: This is Towels!
Garrett No man, no.
Josh: Paper Towels: I'm scared of rainy days, 'cause I like to enjoy myself and enjoy my life and the outdoors. I don't get out much. In fact, I've spent most of my life right here in this church. It's where I'll die. Goodbye...... Towel again! *laughter* I just wanted to point out that I felt like my last statement made me sound like sort of a downer. I don't wanna go down in history like that. Who knows how long I'll be alive?
Garrett Towels, what's your favorite band?
Josh: Paper Towels: Oh, I'm glad you asked. I used to really like Disturbed, but their new record wasn't as good as the first one. I like the first record. It was called The Sickness. And I liked it 'cause I felt like it was really creative vocally. The single, "Sickness (Are You Down With?)," it went like this: Oh wa ah ah ah. And I felt like that was really good. And another thing about Disturbed is that they only had one guitar and one bass. You know, less is more sometimes. And I felt like they really did it. It was like a wall of sound. And I like their logo. It's like a mascot of like a man with sharp teeth and he's got like a hood on. It's pretty cool! If I had a tattoo, it would be of that. And Disturbed covered a Genesis song, "Land of Confusion." I don't know if you knew that. See ya later.... oh wa ah ah ah.
Garrett: Instead of typing this, can you just put the audio file on JesusfreakHideout?
Josh: No I'd rather see it. *laughter*
Josh: When I finished the first draft, I had Patrick read it and tell me if I forgot any funny stories. And he said he thought they were all there, and then after the book was published and physically in my hand, he said 'You should've put this, this, this and this in there.' So he was involved in not helping.
Patrick: That's usually what I do.
Drew: Patrick always waits until everyone has their food and is sitting down to go to the bathroom, and then we have to wait on him to get back before we eat.
Josh: I've been asking Garrett and Drew to read my new book because they should know their history, and because I want them to approve of what I do 'cause they're my friends and I admire them. And they won't read it. They just read the chapters about themselves and put it down.
Garrett: I'm gonna clarify some things. I haven't read anything in Josh's new book, and I apologize for that. Not even my own chapter. But I have Josh's first two books, and I enjoyed them, and I have read also read Josh and Patrick's comic book and I liked that too.
Drew: I did what Josh just said that I did. *laughter*
Patrick: The reason Garrett hasn't read any of it is because he is scared of reading and he is scared of seeing too many letters on one page.
Josh: Paper Towels: Well you know, here's the thing about the literary world: *laughter* In the world of literature, there's a whole lot of voices, and not a lot of stuff being said. Chew on that a little while...
Patrick: Towel's really smart.
Josh: Paper Towels: Wherever you go, there you are.
Patrick: Come on Towel, you can do better than that.
Josh: Oh we could go on. But I would like to say this. I saw the first full on photo of Red Skull from Captain America: The First Avenger today, and it really made my day. He looked really good, really true to the comic, he had a hydra belt buckle - if you're a nerd, you'll know what that is - and I thought that was really great. So I just wanna encourage Joe Johnston and Chris Evans and everyone working on the Captain America movie and say that y'all are doing a great job and I'm sure it's gonna be great. Don't listen to all the other nerds on the internet who all say otherwise, but I'm sure that everyone's behind you guys.
Paper Towels: And you know, I'm gonna agree with him. Because I feel like it's hard to make good movies these days, especially with the whole 3D thing. For the most part, 3D got kinda stale. You know, Avatar came out and it made a lot of money so all the studios were rushing to make new things in 3D, but not taking the time to make good 3D. In conclusion, 3D is a viable expression of the film platform, but I feel like, let's not saturate the market. See ya later.
Patrick: *picks up a bottle of soda* Hey guys, it's the bottle of soda! *laughter*
Drew: *picks up a notebook* It's Mr. Notebook!
Josh: Stop, man. Just stop.
Patrick: That ain't even funny.
Josh: That doesn't make any sense. Notebooks can't talk.
Garrett: I mean, why are you even giving it a name? Obviously his name is Subject. *laughter* It says it right there.
Josh: Alright, let's go.
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