I brush my teeth
and look in the mirror
And laugh out loud
as I'm beaming from ear to ear

I'd rather pick flowers
instead of fight
And rather than flaunt my style
I'd flash you a smile
Of clean pearly whites

I've been to the dentist
A thousand times, so I know the drill
I smooth my hair, sit back in the chair
but somehow I still get the chills

Have a seat
He says pleasantly
As he shakes my hand
And practically laughs at me

Open up nice and wide
He says, peering in
And with a smirk he says,
"Don't have a fit, this'll just pinch a bit"
As he tries not to grin

When hygienists leave on long vacations
That's when dentists scream and lose their patience

Talking only brings the toothaches on
Because I say the stupidest things
So if my resolve goes south
I'll swallow my pride with an aspirin
And shut my mouth

Golf and alcohol don't mix
And that's why I don't drink and drive
Because, good grief, I'd knock out my teeth
And hafta kiss my smile goodbye

I've been to the dentist
A thousand times, so I know the drill
I smooth my hair, sit back in the chair
but somehow I still get the chills