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01. I'm Afraid That I'm Me

Cancer
by Showbread



 

the world is sick and all of us in it
so fight the cancer
fight the cancer
don't bow your head to it

the world is sick but it won't die from it
so fight the cancer
fight the cancer
don't bow your head to it

i'm afraid that i am me
and i had no say in this
i dare to be self-aware when ignorance is bliss
i never do the things i want
i do what i don't want to
i'm fortified for treachery and hopelessly untrue

remember when we were all small?
with stained-glass windows stretched up the walls
we listened to words we could not understand
as they echoed through the church halls
they stacked us up conveniently
and fed us from their tables
they deduced what we should know
because we weren't able
and as we grow we feel we know
the truth of where we've been
satiated by their oaths
dragged on the heels of holy men

lately i have found frustration among the incongruence
a movement of peasants and pacifists drowning in patriotic affluence
i feel as though i should do something but i'm staggered by the ramifications
they've baptized the empire into the church and heralded its sanctification

sometimes i feel as though i'm taking place outside of myself
but i'm afraid that i am me
i am me
i'm me
i'm me

"blessed are the meek" succumbs to "might makes right"
"turn the other cheek" succumbs to pre-emptive strike
"love your enemies" is fossilized beneath the frozen tundra
and "blessed are the poor in spirit" is devoured by "God bless America"

you file the children into the classrooms, make them stand and say an oath
and when we ask "should i love God or my country?"
you smile and tell us "both."
we've hidden the God we claim we serve and driven him beneath the floorboards
but i can still hear this still, small voice
and i can't take it anymore


 

 

 

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This Wednesday, August 13, 2025
ALBUMS
Various Artists Songs We've Been Trying To Tell You About (And Others We Haven't), Vol. 14 [JFH Music]

This Friday, August 15, 2025
ALBUMS
Mark Bishop Grandkids - EP [Sonlite]
The CCC Collective Brooklyn Culture (independent)
Equippers Worship Awe [DREAM Worship]
The Final Witness Beneath The Altar [Rottweiler]
Grammatrain Flying Collector's Edition CD [Girder]
Grammatrain Lonely House 30th Anniversary Edition CD [Girder]
Katy Nichole Honest Conversations [Centricity]
REFVGE REFVGE 1 [Syntax]
Relentless Pursuit Apocalypsis (independent)
V1 Worship Archives [DREAM]
Joel Vaughn Feel It - EP [DREAM]

SINGLES
ANTHNY no stages - Single [Provident]
Johan Åsgärde Coming Home - Single [Gotee]
Dave Barnes Everything But Mine - Single (independent)
Chris Caro Pain Pt. 3 - Single [Syntax]
Jeff Deyo There is a Fire - Single [NWN]
Drenae Dead Seed - Single [Syntax]
F'rael Pardon My Grace - Single [Syntax]
Jeremy and Adrienne Camp Worthy Of It All / I Exalt Thee (Jeremy and Adrienne Camp Version) - Single [Sparrow]
Linc Worship I Know - Single (independent)
Steven Malcolm All God - Single [Curb]
Jeannie Ortega Little Girl is Gone - Single [Syntax]
outr.cty Testin' Your Luck (ft. Selah the Corner & Dre Murray) - Single [Syntax]
Matt Redman Let Me See Jesus / Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus (feat. Charity Gayle) - Single [Integrity]
Rhymes in Harmony Beautiful Name - Single [Syntax]
Brandon Lake, Phil Wickham, & Elevation Worship So So Good (Live) - Single [Fair Trade]

VINYL
Grammatrain Flying Vinyl [Girder]
Grammatrain Lonely House 30th Anniversary Edition Vinyl [Girder]
Newsboys Going Public Vinyl [Girder]

Next Friday, August 22, 2025
ALBUMS
Lecrae Reconstruction [Reach]
Lizzie Morgan Not My Will [Provident]
Josiah Queen MT. ZION [Capitol CMG]

SINGLES
Dust and Grace Hallelujah - Single [MTS]
Good Weather Forecast Today (feat. Elijah Thomas) - Single [DREAM]
Roxanne Grace Try Again - Single [DREAM]
Mainstream Worship Invitation - Single [DREAM Worship]
V1 Worship Been So Faithful - Single [DREAM Worship]



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