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12. My Life

by Manafest


Sometimes I feel like I want to quit
No one will notice if
I forfeit my soul blow myself with a clip
Thatís my father did no gun, a noose and he hung
My mom found him in the basement there as he swung
At 5 years old what does that do to a kid
Produced a maniac anthrax type of a kid
I hear an ambulance, sirens Iím told to be silent
Iím blind trying to find why my house is a riot
Got to go canít take it, Uncle Daveís face is changing
I race to find my father in the bottom of the basement
My mothers covered in tears her face filling with fear
Bangís on the floor shoutís to God why am I are hear
Scared to even ask, where my dad is at the time
I guess for now itís just a memory

Mom whereís dad, where is he mom, whereís dad

This is my life my world
My nightmare stuck here wonít turn
Is there a light that can shine on me?
Dear God I pray you hear homie This is Chris your son praying feeling so lonely
My life my world
My nightmare stuck here wonít turn

Can you relate to me? Probably not
You still hate ya father, wanna to kill ya mom
Got a dad attacking in the night at around 1:00
Feet are like drums coming to you, ya canít run
Struggle with the thoughts, am I normal or not
Abused all my life even when I called out to God
What the flip, itís a shame what happens in the dark
Invisible to people all they seeing is the scars
Hold on yo, use gonna make it
Your spirit canít be broken, soul not taken
Praying in the power of the tongue for my friends
New Testament Jesus Christ let him in
Ya brains still confused what am I suppose to do
When ya folks choke, tie vocal ropes around you
Walls fall down surround you forget living Iíll never fitting
Godís love is real no matter what youíve ever been in


My life my world
My nightmare stuck here wonít turn
Is there a light that can shine bright wonít burn?
Afterlife when I see Christ Soul journ
This is my life lord can ye shine on me
Can anybody hear me?
Lord can you save me?

Have you ever felt like you wanna die?
End in the night, say good bye like a Lola bye
And just close ya eyes
Those lies almost killed me,
Feeling filthy, no ability to move
Commit suicide I wonít be guilty
Thereís no perfect life, itís all media hype,
The TV screenís feeding ya right
Iíve seen both sides of it by now, I would a bowed down
A new sound the lost can be found
Youíre in some real dirt, ya life kind a sucks
Ya might adjust, but youíd rather die in the dust
Iíve had enough I look to him, and in God I trust
Sometimes it gets rough but ya canít give up




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