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  Artist List   /   Blackball   /   Super Heavy Dreamscape


         


06. Not The Way I Want To Be

Super Heavy Dreamscape
by Blackball



 

Well I'd like to help you now
but I think I'm just too broken
To rebuild again would cost me more
of all these things I choke in

And it's not the way I want it to be
but I'm blind in the places I thought I could see
And weak in the mind and the soul of the man
And it's hard to explain cuz' I don't understand
I guess I'm weaker than I wanted to be
weaker than I thought I was
There's nothing in the world that's free
it's all too much for me
And it's not the way I want it to be
cuz' what I wanted to be I just can't find within me

Well I'd love to help you out
but how could you hear me now
When you see me fall
and watch it all
I don't think that I know how

And it's not the way I want it to be
and I wonder if you're cut by the ways that I bleed
So I wish that I could stand all alone
but there's no part of the body that move on it's own
So I guess it's too late to complain about
you heard enough of the truth that you figured it out
And it's not the way I want it to be
cuz' what I wanted to be I just can't find within me

This is not the way I want it to be
I might be the only part of Christ that somebody sees
And it's the only hope I know how to give you
and it's just too much for me to live up to
And I never wanted to be the one you see
I'm not the best one for showing you the things I believe
and it's not the way I want it to be
but what I wanted to be I just can't find within me

 

 

 

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This Friday, November 7, 2025
ALBUMS
Biscuits Country Fried LoFi - EP [Circle Back]
Jekalyn Carr JEKALYN X LEGENDS [WayNorth]
DAMIAN DAMIAN [DREAM]
Josh Garrels Peace To All Who Enter Here, Vol. 2 (independent)
Amy Jay Mnemonics (independent)
(UN)WORTHY From the Belly of the Beast - EP (independent)

SINGLES
Dave Barnes Santa's Gotta Go - Single (independent)
Gracie Binion Gunpowder - Single [BEC]
Biscuits Country Fried LoFi - Single [Circle Back]
Cutright Gram Cracker - Single [Syntax]
Good Things Collective Rejoice! - Single [Real Fun]
Hillside Recording Everlasting Father - Single (independent)
Ian Austin, Heather Suzanne Somewhere Far - Single (independent)
K3hlab Lord You Are - Single [Syntax]
Kelo The Break-Up - Single [Syntax]
Tasha Layton Christmas All Year Long - Single [BEC]
Life.Church Worship Tanto - Single (independent)
Limoblaze Esé - Single [Reach]
Myles Maestro falling 4 u - Single [Syntax]
Kevi Morse Yeen ain't wit it - Single [Syntax]
Jeannie Ortega Boyfriend - Single [Syntax]
Prodi Da Prodigal Modus Operandi - Single [Syntax]
Sacrificial Betrayal Take Risk - Single (independent)
Zane Walls YOU ARE THE FIRE (feat. JontheKid) - Single (independent)
Rhett Walker Carol of the Bells - Single [BEC]

Next Friday, November 14, 2025
ALBUMS
Emery White Line Fever (Remastered) - Disc One (independent)
Kings Kaleidoscope Asaph's Arrows II EP [BEC]
Ronnie Martin Evergreen Melodie [Velvet Blue]
NF FEAR - EP [Capitol]
Rave Jesus I MET GOD ON THE DANCEFLOOR [Provident]
The Young Escape Not Done Yet [BEC]

SINGLES
Biscuits Drifting Off (Hayloft) - Single [Circle Back]
Richard Lynch Why Me Lord - Single [MTS]
NEEDTOBREATHE Where You Call Home - Single [Omnivore]
Hunter Plake Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas - Single [BEC]


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