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04. The Dirt

Nervosa
by Showbread



 

 

I want to open up my guts
And crawl inside to make a home
And nestle up inside the steaming softness silent and alone
I want to pull apart the things you think that matter
Cause to me nothing is everything, just a vacant listless clatter
And I bury myself underneath myself
I will not reach or call for help
I want to do this on my own I want to feel it in my bones
I want to know the ugliness that wraps around me
So I open wide and die inside
Forget the things the world said I could be

There’s nothing for me
Nothing I want to be
And I am nothing now and free
The nothing's in love with me

Don’t you think it’s funny how the dirt just piles up on me?
And I’m being crushed but baby hush
You know it doesn’t matter very much
To know the nastiness and roll around in piles of this
And yawn into the stinking hiss then close it tightly in my fists
When I am gone I’ll leave no bones, no dust, no death, no love, no home
Just emptiness and all of this is nothing nothing nothing, I’m alone
So wave goodbye and close your eyes and never take off your disguise
The world is ugly when you take it off, go on and live your life

And leave me lying here the world will never shed a tear
For idiots who die like us and never ever know something that’s real

 

 

 

 

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This Friday, December 5, 2025
ALBUMS
Leslie Jordan Memos - EP (independent)
JVKE & FORREST FRANK this is what christmas feels like [AWAL]
Knaladeus Never Left [Syntax]
Nunky Koma My All - EP [SOZO]
MATTHEWS The Darkest Light [Curb]

SINGLES
29:11 Worship Glory Glory - Single [DREAM]
99 APEX My Love - Double Single [Syntax]
B.Cooper Peace (feat. SIV) - Single [RMG Amplify]
Peter Burton Where Would I Be (feat. Matthew West) - Single [Integrity]
Cleansing Of The Temple Mary Did You Know? - Single [Rottweiler]
EJ Swavv, Edify, 1KChvcho Come From - Single [Syntax]
Alex Henry Foster City on Fire - Single [Hopeful Tragedy]
Heather Suzanne, Ian Austin Sleeping Child of Bethlehem - Single [Ocean House]
iNTELLECT, Procyse Lose Yourself - Single [Polished Arrow]
Living Again Dive Into - Single [Ocean House]
Myles Maestro New Life - Single [Syntax]
Ronnie Martin O Christmas Day - Single [Velvet Blue]
Seth Metoyer Flicker Of December - Single [Rottweiler/Broken Curfew]
Lexly Nirvana Honestamente ft. Manny Gee - Single [Syntax]
Q-FLO Heaven - Single [Syntax]
Run51 Good News (A Christmas Medley) - Single [DREAM]
Tds Cam Scared Of The Beautiful - Single [Syntax]
VOTA Hold for Applause - Single (independent)
Yung Drew, De'Aris, prodbyzayne LEMME TALK - Single [Syntax]

Next Friday, December 12, 2025
ALBUMS
Angelica Walkin' In Faith: 35th Anniversary Collectors Edition [Girder]
Idle Cure 2nd Avenue: 35th Anniversary Collectors Edition [Girder]

SINGLES
John Long Thankful - Single [Ocean House]
Mountain People Worship I Don’t Know Where To Start - Single [Ocean House]


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