Well I heard that your state could be sinking
Deep into the briny sea
And all of them earthquakes got you thinking
'Bout leaving Californee-ee
There's riots and there's floods and it's smoggy
Toxic waste on yonder beach
And all of them hippies down in Santa Cruz
Are startin' to suck just like a leach (hey man)
You're sick of sunshine and surfing
You've had all the tofu you can take
Well look here times-a-wastin'
You just move to the Centennial state

Some people think our state is square
They're wrong just wait and see
I walk a mile high
Colorado's right for me

Well ridin' on a cow can make you tired
And it gets a little cold
"That's true!"
But if y'all could use a little swayin'
Here's Val from the W's!
Riding rodeos and square dancing
You farm like mad all day
You might think that I'm lying
Shoot listen what my uncle's gotta say!
"Well I'm an old smelly geezer
I don't know what rhymes with that
If you've got a boil you could pick it
Get out of my yard and give me my chicken!"