Lustrous lines obscured by opaque blinds - frozen metacarpals tap tap tap the
window glass. Syncopated staccatos with the broken clock synchronized with my
post-traumatic ticks ticks - talking to the space in the room that echoes back
indiscernibly to my disconnected self/self - it’s self-consuming, what's ensuing
is my undoing - the nightly casualty of war.1
And it sounds like this: War, endless war.
In my endless dance with entropy I must rescind my sentience, the sickness that
I know.2 Rearrange the disarray of disintegrated senses - puzzle pieces, spectral
splinters of a soldier’s worn and tattered soul. In my endless dance with entropy I
must rescind my sentience, the sickness that I know.
Machines of air looking down on us3 - the beasts of dust as we grapple heel and
hand,4 mud and sand, (blood red oil)5 the chaff of the harvest6 converted to
currencies of wealthy means, stepping stones cut from our perforated bones.
Riches are reaped beside our bodies sown just to be thrown back again
and forgotten if we stumble in, laid inside a homeless nest,7 stuck with eager dirty
needles,8 shipped to an early steeple where boxes close, descend with grace as
you defend yourself - both charitable and chaste.9 Praise me for my valor, lay me
on a crimson tower - justify my endless terror as my “finest hour.”10 Treat me as a
token to deceive the child whom we fatten for this scapegoat slaughter.11

I learned to fight; I learned to kill; I learned to steal; I learned that none of this is
real. None of this is real. None of this is real. None of this is real.
But there’s a war inside my head.
Beleaguered by my breathing - choking, screaming, heaving. Time drags
me back to the desert. This is war: A child stumbles from the wreckage holding
his salvation - the trigger to cessation - to end us all. I took a life that takes mine,
every quiet moment we collapse. Have you forsaken us?12 All the darkness
comes alive.13 Take my hand, drag me to the void.14,15



Behind the Song:
1 Soldiers who have shared post-war experiences with us, especially Jeriel Clark
2 Come Wind, Come Weather, A Flood Strong Enough to Consume the House
3 The drone army of the United States
4 Genesis 25:26
5 Michael Klare, Blood and Oil
6 Isaiah 33:11
7 Between 1/4 - 1/2 of chronically homeless males in America are veterans
8 Aaron Glantz, The War Comes Home
9 Jerry Falwell and a number of other evangelical voices advocating “pro-war” positions
10 Winston Churchill
11 Leviticus 16:10
12 Matthew 27:46
13 Rodney Ascher, The Nightmare
14 PTSD and related disorders due to combat-stress often go overlooked as soldiers reintegrate into general society. Please visit and get involved at: www.woundedwarriorproject.org
15 This song was inspired by the testimony of our friend, Jeriel Clark, and is dedicated to every listener who has experienced the horrors of armed conflict. We love you, we are thankful for you.