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Professional Rapper  cover
03. I Haven't Been Myself
Album: Professional Rapper
Artist: John Reuben
         
 

I’m not alright, I haven’t been myself lately
I’m not okay with the way I’ve let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I’m not here for long
I’ll see you when I’m better
I'll see you when I'm better

It’s gotta get worse to get better
It went from no way, never to okay, whatever
Slowly but surely and sure as sure is blurry
Now things that once were me are no longer
Every so often God reminds me
But I’m always there in front to blind me
I value my pride more than peace of mind
My precious pride
There was a time when I had control but I let it go
I watched the world pass in slowmo
My life’s ahead of me
I can’t catch up
Stuck in a rut
I went too willingly
These thoughts are killing me
I wish I could control myself but I can’t
Or can I?
Man I’m gone
I hope I’m not here for long
It’s just a visit
Ashamed of who I’ve become
It’s not really me
Or is it?

I’m not alright, I haven’t been myself lately
I’m not okay with the way I’ve let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I’m not here for long
I’ll see you when I’m better

Thoughts lead to emotion which led to action
I hate the fact that it happened
“The Lord can forgive and forget”
But I’m not able to do it
Maybe there is where the problem lies
I’m unable to forgive myself plus I’m too proud to ask for help
Whelp, sorry for who I’ve become
I guess circumstances can leave you numb
Plus, I refused accountability
It seemed like such small things you found in me
I called you secluded and illuded to the fact that your concerns were silly
Don’t over-react
Now looking back in hindsight, heh
I’m able to see that you were right
Is it too late for me?
I know it’s not
It’s just up to me to choose to stop

I’m not alright, I haven’t been myself lately
I’m not okay with the way I’ve let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I’m not here for long
I’ll see you when I’m better


 

More Lyrics from Professional Rapper

  1. 01. Move
  2. 02. Have No Opinion?
  3. 03. I Haven't Been Myself
  4. 04. Life Is Short
  5. 05. Treats
  6. 06. Freedom To Feel
  7. 07. Time to Leave
  8. 08. Re-Record
  9. 09. Jammin' John & Mixin' Manny
  10. 10. All In All
  11. 11. 5 Years To Write
  12. 12. Higher
                 
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This Tuesday, September 22
ALBUMS
PFR Target and the Arrow (independent)

This Friday, September 25
ALBUMS
Altarheart Prone To Wander [Rottweiler]
ANTHNY Worship Leader's Diary [SONY/Provident]
Brotality Jaws of the Earth (independent)
Forsaken Eternity Shades of Existence - EP [Rottweiler]
gio. PROMISE LAND [Capitol CMG]
Red Worship Witness (independent)
Stryper Throne of Thorns [Frontiers]
We Are Messengers Halfway Home [Curb]
Matthew West Jesus is King [Provident]
The Wood Drake Sessions East to West (independent)

SINGLES
Sarah Anthony Jesus is King - Single (independent)
AustinThaNoble Mommy, I’m Praying for You - Single [Syntax]
Chris Caro DID WHAT I SAID - Single [Syntax]
Kelo Real Love - Single [Syntax]
Jamie MacDonald Used to Be - Single [Capitol CMG]
Mackenzie Phillips Made - Single [Gotee]
QEW & Cyrus Sonata Nu Nimbus Vibez (ft. Scribe Music) - Single [Syntax]
River Valley Worship King of the Empty Grave - Single [BEC]
The Sean Coleman Project Might Just Be My Day (feat. Brad Goff) - Single (independent)

Next Friday, October 2
ALBUMS
Amy Grant The Me That Remains (Deluxe Edition) [Thirty Tigers]
The Light Superior Dayspring [Rottweiler]
Jake MacAdam Source of Life - EP (independent)
Josh Snodgrass Praise (Instrumental Guitar) - EP (independent)
Tauren Wells Here Comes The Church (Live) [Capitol CMG]

SINGLES
Francesca Battistelli Won't Miss A Moment - Single [Curb]
Gracie Binion & Bella Fabrizio Recompense - Single [BEC]
Koryn Hawthorne God Is Real - Single [Motown Gospel]
Olivia Lane Mother's Eyes - Single [BEC]
Chandler Marie Ride Away - Single (independent)


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