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  Artist List   /   John Reuben   /   Professional Rapper


         


03. I Haven't Been Myself

Professional Rapper
by John Reuben



 

I’m not alright, I haven’t been myself lately
I’m not okay with the way I’ve let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I’m not here for long
I’ll see you when I’m better
I'll see you when I'm better

It’s gotta get worse to get better
It went from no way, never to okay, whatever
Slowly but surely and sure as sure is blurry
Now things that once were me are no longer
Every so often God reminds me
But I’m always there in front to blind me
I value my pride more than peace of mind
My precious pride
There was a time when I had control but I let it go
I watched the world pass in slowmo
My life’s ahead of me
I can’t catch up
Stuck in a rut
I went too willingly
These thoughts are killing me
I wish I could control myself but I can’t
Or can I?
Man I’m gone
I hope I’m not here for long
It’s just a visit
Ashamed of who I’ve become
It’s not really me
Or is it?

I’m not alright, I haven’t been myself lately
I’m not okay with the way I’ve let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I’m not here for long
I’ll see you when I’m better

Thoughts lead to emotion which led to action
I hate the fact that it happened
“The Lord can forgive and forget”
But I’m not able to do it
Maybe there is where the problem lies
I’m unable to forgive myself plus I’m too proud to ask for help
Whelp, sorry for who I’ve become
I guess circumstances can leave you numb
Plus, I refused accountability
It seemed like such small things you found in me
I called you secluded and illuded to the fact that your concerns were silly
Don’t over-react
Now looking back in hindsight, heh
I’m able to see that you were right
Is it too late for me?
I know it’s not
It’s just up to me to choose to stop

I’m not alright, I haven’t been myself lately
I’m not okay with the way I’ve let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I’m not here for long
I’ll see you when I’m better

 

 

 

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This Thursday, July 25, 2024
SINGLES
Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors Burn (feat. Ellie Holcomb) - Single [Tone Tree]

This Friday, July 26, 2024
ALBUMS
Pat Barrett Happily Hidden [Capitol CMG]
Before There Was Rosalyn Hypocrites EP [The Charon Collective]
Bloodlines Holiness Cries EP [Facedown]
The Collingsworth Family Classics & Hymns [Gaither]
Dex the Nerd Who Loves Jesus Pixelated Virtues Online - EP (independent)
Danny Gokey Sound of Heaven [Sparrow]
The Hillbilly Thomists Marigold (independent)
Kestrel Vessel EP (independent)
Ken Tamplin Stand Up And Shout (4 CD Box Set) [Girder]
Swingin Hammers Blood in the Sand EP (independent)
Thrive Worship Praises & Prayers [Integrity]
Tyraels Ascension Hell Walker [Rottweiler]
Phil Wickham The Jesus Way Collection - EP [Fair Trade]
Thousand Foot Krutch The End Is Where We Begin (Reignited) [The Fuel]
Young Noah A Positive Sign EP (independent)

SINGLES
2 Minute Minor & Dave LeBlanc Golden Calf - Single (independent)
Tina Boonstra Can People Ever Really Change? (at Old Chapel) - Single [7Core]
Chad Cory Love Forward - Single [DREAM]
Dreamers Make A Move - Single [DREAM]
Fit For A King TECHNIUM - Single [Solid State]
Keith & Kristyn Getty Scarlet Thread (feat. Zach Williams) - Single [Getty]
Good Weather Forecast Let's Build A House (feat. Real Life Guys) - Single [DREAM]
Heal the Hurt RUIN - Single (independent)
Hyper Fenton Show Me What You’re Working With feat. Peabod - Single (independent)
Lauren, Amber & Kenna Every Praise - Single [Horizon]
Claire Leslie Original - Single [Capitol CMG]
Mission House Faith More Precious Than Gold, Everything In Your Hands + Suscipe - Triple Single [Integrity]
MotionPlus Kings Grace - Single (independent)
OM53 Letting Go of Yesterday - Single (independent)
The Riverside Blade of the King’s Tongue - Single (independent)
Sean Rodriguez Jesus Will - Single [WieRok]
Sidewalk Prophets Come To Jesus - Single [Curb]
Souljornerz The Lamb - Single [Polished Arrow]
The Spirituals Be Thou My Vision - Single [Integrity]
Uche Agu, Revival Today Worship The Whole Earth Will See (A.K.A America Will See) - Single [DREAM]
Verses Philippians 2:5-11 (feat. The Sing Team) - Single (independent)
Village KNG Turn'E Up (ft. Monty G) - Single [Soldier Sound]
We Are Messengers God Be The Glory (Remix) [feat. KB] - Single [Curb]

VINYL
Disciple By God Vinyl [Girder]
Disciple What Was I Thinking? Vinyl [Girder]
Element 101 Stereo Girl Vinyl [Burnt Toast Vinyl]

Next Friday, August 2, 2024
ALBUMS
Anberlin Vega [Equal Vision]
Brandon Heath The Ache [Centricity]
Chandler Moore Live in Los Angeles [Tribl]
Rock Springs Worship Hymns Vol. 2 [StowTown]

SINGLES
AWZY Shadow - Single [DREAM]
FYR FYTR, Make Sure I Took the World on My Shoulders - Single (independent)
Mainstream Worship, Melanie Rivera Praise You - Single [DREAM]
Ian Yates My World Is On Fire - Single [7Core]

VINYL
Anberlin Vega [Equal Vision]



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