Jesusfreakhideout.com celebrates 30 Years online in 2026... Get Your Music - and everything else - on Amazon! All purchases made on Amazon through this link earn a commission for Jesusfreakhideout.com!
Get the new FREE JFH MP3 compilation August 13, 2026!

Professional Rapper  cover
11. 5 Years To Write
Album: Professional Rapper
Artist: John Reuben
         
 

This vulnerability is kiling me internally
Not feeling much stability and I wish it could be easy
But it dont seem to be and so, I'm going to take it to the only place that i know to go
And lay these feelings in the hand of the creator
God of creation You show me how to relate to her
Meanwhile, I'm thanking You for lessons being learned
See my feelings have been shallow but I've watched my heart turn
Yes, she looks good, yes she looks fly
But deep down I know there's something more inside
Just like I'm praying that there's more in me
So when I look at she I just don't see naturally
Not saying physically, that I'll deny the attraction, but all in all that's just a simple satisfaction
That can be obtained through a glance of the eye
This was five years ago, man how time flies by
Beautiful soul full of spirit
I wonder if she'd hear it if I told her that she had a
Beautiful soul full of spirit
A few year later...
Her mind intrigues me
It leaves me sort of sick
Wondering what makes the mystery chic tick, history thick of pages and pages
Telling stories that can't be summed up in quick phrases
She's observant so she's seen my behavior
It's got me nervous wanting to stay away from her
I pray for her daily as well as perspective,
Battling with pride and thoughts of being rejected
And that's just not appealing
It's almost enough to make you disconnect your fellings or something
And try to move on and give them to someone else but yet
I care for her more than I care for myself
Man who needs this
I'm not even good with commitments
Plus I value my independence
In the end it's probably just a waste of time spent
Or maybe there's something more to this relationship
What's the point of caring when it hurts so much
If this is what love comes with I'd rather not touch it
In all honesty the outcome is uncertain
And I do run the risk of walking away hurting
Searching for clarity, spare me the dispair
I'd rather be alone and not even care
Than to share my trust because you can't control fate
So maybe I'll be alone but at least it's safe
I know that's stupid
Probably my insecurity
Or maybe God is using this to get through to me
Because in the back of my mind I'm always aware of her
Pushing me towards prayer and bettering my character
Making me think about the man I want to become
Regardless of the situation's outcome
Fast forward a few years into my life
Man this song about my wife took me five years to write


 

More Lyrics from Professional Rapper

  1. 01. Move
  2. 02. Have No Opinion?
  3. 03. I Haven't Been Myself
  4. 04. Life Is Short
  5. 05. Treats
  6. 06. Freedom To Feel
  7. 07. Time to Leave
  8. 08. Re-Record
  9. 09. Jammin' John & Mixin' Manny
  10. 10. All In All
  11. 11. 5 Years To Write
  12. 12. Higher
                 
Get $20 off $50 and up order when you use our link -- and we'll get a discount, too!

Search JFH



This Friday, October 30
ALBUMS
Beach Chapel A Special Place In Heaven (independent)
Kirk Franklin I Am What I Am [Uptown]
The Oak Ridge Boys Buried Treasures [Lightning Rod]
The Hyssongs We've Got a Song to Sing [Horizon]
Olive Shoots Music Longing and Loss (independent)
Various Artists Songs Inspired By The Chosen: Season 1-5 [Capitol CMG]
Vomitorial Corpulence Martyrdomical Symphonanthem [Rottweiler]

SINGLES
2 Lane Summer How Do I Live - Single [Quartz Hill]
1K Phew & Timbaland Seven Trumpets - Single [Reach]
Gracie Binion & Mitch Wong Gloria - Single [BEC]
Lauren Daigle with Preservation Hall Jazz Band Sleigh Ride & Go Tell It On The Mountain - Double Single [Interscope/Capitol]
Will Ellis My Yesterday’s Are Gone - Single (independent)
Forrest Frank (TBA) - Single [River House]
goodwill., GodFearin & Xay Hill IN MOTION - Single [Syntax]
I.A.N. Pray For Me - Single [Syntax]
Lady Audri My Body - Single [Syntax]
Leem of the Earth The Cavern of Dark - Single [Velvet Blue]
LOUDWERX Bass Go Boom (feat. Magic & Bird, Andy Mineo) - Single [Artist Influence]
Malcolm Rue & A Tribe Apart Omemma - Single [Syntax]
Kevi Morse Is it too late? - Single [Syntax]
Nai and J Follow - Single (independent)
New Wine Worship For Jesus - Single (independent)
Lloyd Nicks Glory (Angels We Have Heard) - Single [Curb]
Blessing Offor Broken Me (from The Chosen Album) - Single [Capitol CMG]
Hunter Plake It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas - Single [BEC]
Razzie & OnBeatMusic Brick After Brick - Single [Syntax]
Jordan St. Cyr Guide Me Home - Single [BEC]
Carly Ann Taylor How Glorious (Amazing Grace) - Single [Curb]
TobyMac The Hard Times - Single [Capitol CMG]
ZOEgirl I Still Believe - Single (independent)

Next Friday, November 6
ALBUMS
Big Daddy Weave It's Time For Christmas - EP [Curb]
Hillside Recording & Addy Prado Come and See - EP (independent)
Meadows DESERT WALKER (CD) [Facedown Records]
Mystical Death Across [Rottweiler]
Chris Tomlin Good News Of Great Joy (Christmas Songs Of Worship) [Capitol CMG]
We Are Messengers Rejoice! (A Celtic Christmas LIVE) [Curb]
Mark Wills Grand Ole Revival [Gaither]

SINGLES
Olivia Lane Hark! The Herald Angels Sing - Single [BEC]
Tasha Layton & Dave Barnes What Should I Get You For Christmas - Single [BEC]
Hunter Plake Holly Jolly Christmas - Single [BEC]
River Valley Worship Come and Behold - Single [BEC]


For all release dates, click here!