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  Artist List   /   John Reuben   /   Professional Rapper


         


11. 5 Years To Write

Professional Rapper
by John Reuben



 

This vulnerability is kiling me internally
Not feeling much stability and I wish it could be easy
But it dont seem to be and so, I'm going to take it to the only place that i know to go
And lay these feelings in the hand of the creator
God of creation You show me how to relate to her
Meanwhile, I'm thanking You for lessons being learned
See my feelings have been shallow but I've watched my heart turn
Yes, she looks good, yes she looks fly
But deep down I know there's something more inside
Just like I'm praying that there's more in me
So when I look at she I just don't see naturally
Not saying physically, that I'll deny the attraction, but all in all that's just a simple satisfaction
That can be obtained through a glance of the eye
This was five years ago, man how time flies by
Beautiful soul full of spirit
I wonder if she'd hear it if I told her that she had a
Beautiful soul full of spirit
A few year later...
Her mind intrigues me
It leaves me sort of sick
Wondering what makes the mystery chic tick, history thick of pages and pages
Telling stories that can't be summed up in quick phrases
She's observant so she's seen my behavior
It's got me nervous wanting to stay away from her
I pray for her daily as well as perspective,
Battling with pride and thoughts of being rejected
And that's just not appealing
It's almost enough to make you disconnect your fellings or something
And try to move on and give them to someone else but yet
I care for her more than I care for myself
Man who needs this
I'm not even good with commitments
Plus I value my independence
In the end it's probably just a waste of time spent
Or maybe there's something more to this relationship
What's the point of caring when it hurts so much
If this is what love comes with I'd rather not touch it
In all honesty the outcome is uncertain
And I do run the risk of walking away hurting
Searching for clarity, spare me the dispair
I'd rather be alone and not even care
Than to share my trust because you can't control fate
So maybe I'll be alone but at least it's safe
I know that's stupid
Probably my insecurity
Or maybe God is using this to get through to me
Because in the back of my mind I'm always aware of her
Pushing me towards prayer and bettering my character
Making me think about the man I want to become
Regardless of the situation's outcome
Fast forward a few years into my life
Man this song about my wife took me five years to write

 

 

 

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This Wednesday, August 13, 2025
ALBUMS
Various Artists Songs We've Been Trying To Tell You About (And Others We Haven't), Vol. 14 [JFH Music]

This Friday, August 15, 2025
ALBUMS
Mark Bishop Grandkids - EP [Sonlite]
The CCC Collective Brooklyn Culture (independent)
Equippers Worship Awe [DREAM Worship]
The Final Witness Beneath The Altar [Rottweiler]
Grammatrain Flying Collector's Edition CD [Girder]
Grammatrain Lonely House 30th Anniversary Edition CD [Girder]
Katy Nichole Honest Conversations [Centricity]
REFVGE REFVGE 1 [Syntax]
Relentless Pursuit Apocalypsis (independent)
V1 Worship Archives [DREAM]
Joel Vaughn Feel It - EP [DREAM]

SINGLES
ANTHNY no stages - Single [Provident]
Johan Åsgärde Coming Home - Single [Gotee]
Dave Barnes Everything But Mine - Single (independent)
Chris Caro Pain Pt. 3 - Single [Syntax]
Jeff Deyo There is a Fire - Single [NWN]
Drenae Dead Seed - Single [Syntax]
F'rael Pardon My Grace - Single [Syntax]
Jeremy and Adrienne Camp Worthy Of It All / I Exalt Thee (Jeremy and Adrienne Camp Version) - Single [Sparrow]
Linc Worship I Know - Single (independent)
Steven Malcolm All God - Single [Curb]
Jeannie Ortega Little Girl is Gone - Single [Syntax]
outr.cty Testin' Your Luck (ft. Selah the Corner & Dre Murray) - Single [Syntax]
Matt Redman Let Me See Jesus / Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus (feat. Charity Gayle) - Single [Integrity]
Rhymes in Harmony Beautiful Name - Single [Syntax]
Brandon Lake, Phil Wickham, & Elevation Worship So So Good (Live) - Single [Fair Trade]

VINYL
Grammatrain Flying Vinyl [Girder]
Grammatrain Lonely House 30th Anniversary Edition Vinyl [Girder]
Newsboys Going Public Vinyl [Girder]

Next Friday, August 22, 2025
ALBUMS
Lecrae Reconstruction [Reach]
Lizzie Morgan Not My Will [Provident]
Josiah Queen MT. ZION [Capitol CMG]

SINGLES
Dust and Grace Hallelujah - Single [MTS]
Good Weather Forecast Today (feat. Elijah Thomas) - Single [DREAM]
Roxanne Grace Try Again - Single [DREAM]
Mainstream Worship Invitation - Single [DREAM Worship]
V1 Worship Been So Faithful - Single [DREAM Worship]



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