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  Artist List   /   John Reuben   /   Hindsight


08. I Pictured It

by John Reuben


Have you ever felt something you couldnít explain
No definition no name just a feeling
No definition no name
I looked at her she looked back at me
Her face looked different than I pictured it

And then there was me analyzing life more than I was living
Anything possible good Iíll destroy before the chance was ever given
See if I never have anything Iíll never have to lose anything
But then again if I never had anything worth losing
I guess I lost everything either way
You could say pain will become a result from both
So actually Iím giving in to the very thing that I fear the most
Losing it all everything completely unaware that a fear of failure
Was the one thing that was taking me there
Fear of life fear of love fear of man failure to relate
How I and God and His voice to me would even begin to translate
So I wait to escape this condition of rationalizing my own destruction
But I keep on listening to voices that donít deserve my discussion


Sheís an artist alright
Capable of the most abstract stuff imaginable
And itís made personal for me
See she uses my mind as the canvas to create her manipulated perspectives on life
So Iím the only one that can even see what I see
Until the art hits the heart and begins to take an outward expression
Kind of like an involuntary confession of the soul
And whoís in control
And how many minds have been painted by the hands of crafty irrationality
And have different paintings of reality hanging on the walls in a fictional gallery


Actions speak louder than words
And Iíve come to find that Iíve been building on a design
That could only be found in my mind
Blind to the force behind what caused my accuracy to be tainted
Cuz my mind was smart enough to manipulate itself
But not smart enough to figure out it was being manipulated





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