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Artist List   /   Johnny Anomaly   /   Whispers & Screams


         

07. Whispers & Screams

Whispers & Screams
by Johnny Anomaly

       
Lyrics:

I stood in that hospital room shocked and in disbelief that my son, my little boy wasn't responding with a heartbeat. We stared at that screen and prayed that he would move but there was nothing, nothing more that we could do to change our circumstances. The darkest day of our lives was only just beginning. We felt hopeless and afraid with so much anger, we couldn’t ignore the fact that our world had shattered to pieces on that cold, hard floor.

Later that night when we had cried every tear that we could shed, the reality set in on what was to be done next. When he was placed in my arms, the weight was too much to bear so with weakened knees I sat and I stared for so long. Proud of who he was but never knowing who he would become.

We left there empty-handed knowing we'd never be the same. As a family we were incomplete and still remain that way today. There wasn't enough time for goodbyes and we've never heard you cry. Never heard you speak but silence is your voice and sometimes that is louder than anything. There are days when we just want to cave in and break away but we can't give up now, we've got daughters to raise.

I’ve read, “The Lord heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds” but I pray that He heals every laceration except the one I have for you. Because it's the pain that reminds me of what it's like to feel the emptiness inside that, at times, can be so hard to deal with. I hurt but I know I’m not alone. “Forever in the arms of Jesus” is more than words on this headstone.

I believe that one day I will see you again and we will walk hand in hand but until that day I’ll question everything until I understand. Why did it have to be this way? What could I have done so wrong to make You take my son from me? Come on, God, come on. I’m not alright but I’ve lied and told others I’m fine with a fake smile but the truth is, I’m dying inside.
Why does it seem that You are so silent during the hardest times in my life ?

My prayers begin as whispers and suddenly become screams. With clinched fists at my side, I now know what it means to grieve. I’ve tried so hard to believe that everything happens for a reason but I am not convinced that it pertains to this situation, I just don’t see it. One of the hardest parts of moving on is trying to be strong and every day that passes is another day I want to hold you in my arms. I think about you all the time and it’s so commonplace for me to be in this state of mind where sanity is so hard to find.

I recognize that we are but a vapor and I've grown colder in this life since the day you were taken. I need peace to set my mind at ease so be near to me Jesus. Holy Comforter indwell as I await expectantly for You to reveal that one day in Your courts is better than a thousand anywhere else.


                 
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This Wednesday, August 13, 2025
ALBUMS
Various Artists Songs We've Been Trying To Tell You About (And Others We Haven't), Vol. 14 [JFH Music]

This Friday, August 15, 2025
ALBUMS
Mark Bishop Grandkids - EP [Sonlite]
The CCC Collective Brooklyn Culture (independent)
Equippers Worship Awe [DREAM Worship]
The Final Witness Beneath The Altar [Rottweiler]
Grammatrain Flying Collector's Edition CD [Girder]
Grammatrain Lonely House 30th Anniversary Edition CD [Girder]
Katy Nichole Honest Conversations [Centricity]
REFVGE REFVGE 1 [Syntax]
Relentless Pursuit Apocalypsis (independent)
V1 Worship Archives [DREAM]
Joel Vaughn Feel It - EP [DREAM]

SINGLES
ANTHNY no stages - Single [Provident]
Johan Åsgärde Coming Home - Single [Gotee]
Dave Barnes Everything But Mine - Single (independent)
Chris Caro Pain Pt. 3 - Single [Syntax]
Jeff Deyo There is a Fire - Single [NWN]
Drenae Dead Seed - Single [Syntax]
F'rael Pardon My Grace - Single [Syntax]
Jeremy and Adrienne Camp Worthy Of It All / I Exalt Thee (Jeremy and Adrienne Camp Version) - Single [Sparrow]
Linc Worship I Know - Single (independent)
Steven Malcolm All God - Single [Curb]
Jeannie Ortega Little Girl is Gone - Single [Syntax]
outr.cty Testin' Your Luck (ft. Selah the Corner & Dre Murray) - Single [Syntax]
Matt Redman Let Me See Jesus / Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus (feat. Charity Gayle) - Single [Integrity]
Rhymes in Harmony Beautiful Name - Single [Syntax]
Brandon Lake, Phil Wickham, & Elevation Worship So So Good (Live) - Single [Fair Trade]

VINYL
Grammatrain Flying Vinyl [Girder]
Grammatrain Lonely House 30th Anniversary Edition Vinyl [Girder]
Newsboys Going Public Vinyl [Girder]

Next Friday, August 22, 2025
ALBUMS
Lecrae Reconstruction [Reach]
Lizzie Morgan Not My Will [Provident]
Josiah Queen MT. ZION [Capitol CMG]

SINGLES
Dust and Grace Hallelujah - Single [MTS]
Good Weather Forecast Today (feat. Elijah Thomas) - Single [DREAM]
Roxanne Grace Try Again - Single [DREAM]
Mainstream Worship Invitation - Single [DREAM Worship]
V1 Worship Been So Faithful - Single [DREAM Worship]



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