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08. When I Grow Up

The Search
by NF



 

Yeah, when I grow up, you know what I wanna be?
Take a seat, let me tell you my ridiculous dreams
I wanna rap, yeah, I know it's hard to believe
And I can tell you're already thinkin' I will never succeed
But I'm okay with it, I admit the lyrics are weak
I've been workin' on 'em, I'll be good eventually
I understand you gotta crawl before you get to your feet
But I been running for a while, they ain't ready for me, ahh
I know this prolly isn't really realistic
And honestly, I might not ever make a difference
But that don't make a difference, I'ma have to risk it
I've been crunchin' numbers, you ain't gotta be a mathematician
To see the odds ain't rootin' for me
I can't lie though, it's kinda how I like it to be
The underdog, yeah, you prolly think you know what I mean
But what I'm saying is they ever push me, I'm gonna swing, yeah
I could go to college, get in debt like everybody else
Graduate and prolly get a job that doesn't pay the bills
That don't make a lot of sense to me, forget the Happy Meals
I don't like the dollar menu, I would rather make a meal
Huh? Make a mil'? Nah, I said make a meal
Home-cookin', get the grill, how you want it? Pretty well?
Everything I see is overdone to me, I'm not Adele
But I'ma get a record deal and say hello to mass appeal

When I grow up, I just want to pay my bills
Rappin' about the way I feel (Oh, yeah)
I just want to make a couple mil'
Leave it to the fam in the will (Oh, yeah)
I just want to sign a record deal
Maybe buy a house up in the hills (Oh, yeah)
Might not be the best in my field
But I guarantee that I'ma die real
When I grow up

Yeah, ayy
When I grow up
Yeah, yeah, ayy

I'ma make 'em notice me, rhymin' like it's poetry
Everything I oversee, I just like to overthink
Mockin' me, you pay the fee, no return and no receipts
Those of you that don't believe, quiet, you don't know a thing
Quiet when I'm tryna sing, quiet when I'm making beats
Quiet when I'm tryna think, sorry, I don't mean to scream
I just feel like no one really gets me and it's sad to see
'Cause someday I'ma grow up and show all of you it's meant to be (Yeah)
Anybody wanna hear me rap? 'No'
Come on, let me play a couple tracks, 'No'
Come on, I can spit it really fast, 'No'
You think I should throw this in the trash? 'No'
Tricked ya; haters, go away before I hit ya
I am not a beggar or a kiss-up
You don't understand? Well, I forgive ya
I am not a quitter, you ain't really think that, did ya?
Maybe someday I could even be up on the radio
Have a tour bus and maybe even play a couple shows
Everybody in the crowd singing every word I wrote
Tellin' me that I am not the only one that feels alone
Huh? You feel alone? Yeah, I kinda feel alone
Wonder if that feelin' ever goes away when you get old
Will I ever make it as an artist? I don't really know
Might not make a lot of dough
I'ma have to try it, though

When I grow up
I just wanna pay my bills
Rappin' about the way I feel (Oh, yeah)
I just wanna make a couple mil'
Leave it to the fam in the will (Oh, yeah)
(Leave it to the fam in the will)
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
I just wanna sign a record deal
Maybe buy a house up in the hills (Okay, oh, yeah)
Might not be the best in my field (Ayy, ayy, yeah)
But I guarantee that I'ma die real
When I grow up
I just wanna pay my bills (Woo)
Rappin' about the way I feel (Oh, yeah)
(Yeah, the way I feel)
Yeah, I just wanna make a couple mil' (Ayy, couple mil')
Leave it to the fam in the will (Oh, yeah, to the fam in the will)
I just wanna sign a record deal (Woo)
Maybe buy a house up in the hills (Oh, yeah)
(House up in the hills)
Yeah, I might not be the best in my field
But I guarantee that I'ma die real
When I grow up
When I grow up

 

 

 

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This Friday, October 17, 2025
ALBUMS
ANTHNY DIARY ENTRY 1 [Provident]
AOH Music BEHOLD (Acoustic Live), Vol. 1 (independent)
Blanca Full Bloom [Curb]
Chris Blue Every Day Is Christmas [Gaither]
Geoff Moore and The Distance Foundations (Re-Release) [Girder]
Geoff Moore and The Distance A Place To Stand (Re-Release) [Girder]
Vince Gill 50 Years From Home: I Gave You Everything I Had - EP [UMG]
Nate Parrish Make Me A Mountain (independent)
Psallos The New and Better Way: Hymns of Hebrews (independent)
Anne Wilson Stars [Capitol CMG]
Megan Woods The Truth EP [Fair Trade]

SINGLES
Elevation Worship Jesus Be The Name - Single [Provident]
F'rael God's Wheel (ft. TRYBISHOP) - Single [Syntax]
Brandon Lake When A Cowboy Prays (Amazon Music Songline) - Single [Provident]
LEON Undefeated - Single [El Rescate Music]
No Vain Glory UNLEADED - Single [Syntax]
Park 7 The Hope Is On The Way - Single (independent)
Rave Jesus & Gracie Binion Need Your Love - Single [Provident]
REFVGE, Cyfë II & WAY? U P W A R D S ft. Bianca Silver & Josh LeCroy - Single [Syntax]
Rhymes In Harmony & MAYIA My Sister - Single [Syntax]
Rock City Worship Gravestone - Single [Capitol CMG]
Anton Scholl Born To Love You - Single [Near Kingdom]
Nathan Sheridan Don't Lose Hope - Single [WieRok]
SNT. VINCENT Feast of the Saints - Single [Syntax]
Vertical Kings Faith In Stereo - Single [Covenant]
Vic Lucas, Essence Natay & Ashleey Barnes Let it Rain - Single [Syntax]
Zane Vickery All Things New - Single (independent)
Aaron Williams Abide (feat. CAIN) - Single [Integrity]

DVD
Chris Blue Every Day Is Christmas DVD [Gaither]

Next Friday, October 24, 2025
ALBUMS
John Allan untitled EP [Centricity]
Dan Bremnes The Villain - EP [Curb]
Clear Convictions Endure [Resuscitation]
God Behind Bars Music Live From Angola Prison Vol. 1 [Provident]
Fepeste This World Ain't Mine to Change [Velvet Blue]
gio. FINE BY ME [Capitol CMG]
Brandon Lake Amazon Music Songline [Provident]
Tyson Motsenbocker Modern Worries [Tooth & Nail]
Smalltown Poets St. Augustine (independent)
Zahriya Zachary Rediscovery [Bethel]

SINGLES
29:11 Worship, Zion Rempel You Never Fail (feat. Emily Guy) - Single [DREAM]
Joe L Barnes Grief, Joy, Gratitude - Single [Provident]
Chad Cory, Zacardi Cortez My First Love (Remix) - Single [DREAM]
Leanna Crawford Beginning Of Your Grace - Single [Provident]
darthy Juniper Tree - Single [WieRok]
Emerson Day Midnight Hour - Single [Fair Trade]
Good Weather Forecast lows2highs - Single [DREAM]
Grace + Max Rich - Single [WieRok]
Mercy Tribe Music The King is in the Room (feat. Ayiesha Woods) - Single (independent)
Mountains in the Sea You Never Fail (feat. Emily Guy) - Single [DREAM]
Seph Schlueter Already On The Way (feat. Benjamin William Hastings) - Single [Provident]
Tomb Slayer The Christmas Lamb (feat. Khristian Dentley & Sarah Whittemore) - Single [Tomb Slayer]
The Undertaking! All Smiles - Single (independent)

VINYL
Clear Convictions Endure [Resuscitation]


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