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The Search cover
12. Hate Myself
Album: The Search
Artist: NF
         
 

I don't see you like I should
You look so misunderstood
And I wish I could help
But it's hard when I hate myself
Pray to God with my arms open
If this is it, then I feel hopeless
And I wish I could help
But it's hard when I hate myself

Yeah, late nights are the worst for me
They bring out the worst in me
Mind runnin', got me feelin' like it hurts to think
If this is all that I wanted, I don't want it, gotta be more for me
All the core beliefs
And every mornin' I wake up and feel like I am not worth it 'cause I'm at war with peace
I go to Hell, walk up to the corpse of me
Look at the body like, 'You ain't nothin' but poor and weak'
It's kinda weird
Lately I been feelin' like the only way for me to get away is if I pour the drink
That's more deceit, more defeat
Is this really what I'm born to be?
That's what you get for thinkin' you're unique
So poor, but I'm so wealthy
Need help, but you can't help me
What else can the world sell me?
Tell me lies, I still buy 'em like they're goin' outta stock
But it's not healthy

I don't see you like I should
You look so misunderstood
And I wish I could help
But it's hard when I hate myself
Pray to God with my arms open
If this is it, then I feel hopeless
And I wish I could help
But it's hard when I hate myself

Yeah, late nights get the best of me
They know how to get to me
Suicide thoughts come and go like a guest to me
But I don't wanna die, I just wanna get relief
So don't talk to me like you think I'm so successful
What is success when hope has left you?
I am not a spokesman, I'm a broken record
Sick of doin' interviews 'cause I hate myself, agh!
Come across like it's so easy
But I feel like you don't need me
When I feel like you don't need me
Then I feel like you don't see me
And my life has no meaning, drain me
Hands out, tryna ask for love
But when I get it, I just pass it up
Throw it away and think about it later
Diggin' through the trash for drugs
Wish I could give you what you needed, but I can't
I'm scared because

I don't see you like I should
You look so misunderstood
And I wish I could help
But it's hard when I hate myself
Pray to God with my arms open
If this is it, then I feel hopeless
And I wish I could help
But it's hard when I hate myself

I walk through the ashes of my passions
Reminiscin' with the baggage in my casket
Get lost in the questions I can't answer
Can't stand who I am, but it don't matter
We scream to be free, but I stay captured
Knee-deep in defeat of my own actions
Feel weak, but the peace that I keep lacking
Keeps speakin' to me, but I can't have it
But I can't have it
Keeps speakin' to me, but I can't have it
But I can't have it
Keeps speakin' to me, but I can't have it

I don't see you like I should
You look so misunderstood
And I wish I could help
But it's hard when I hate myself
Pray to God with my arms open
If this is it, then I feel hopeless
And I wish I could help
But it's hard when I hate myself
Hate myself
But it's hard when I hate myself
Hate myself
But it's hard when I hate myself

When I hate myself
It's kinda hard when I hate myself
I hate myself
It's hard when I hate myself


 

More Lyrics from The Search

  1. 01. The Search
  2. 02. Leave Me Alone
  3. 03. Change
  4. 04. My Stress
  5. 05. Nate
  6. 06. Time
  7. 07. Returns
  8. 08. When I Grow Up
  9. 09. Only
  10. 10. Let Me Go
  11. 11. -Interlude-
  12. 12. Hate Myself
  13. 13. I Miss The Days
  14. 14. No Excuses
  15. 15. Like This
  16. 16. Options
  17. 17. WHY
  18. 18. Thinking
  19. 19. Trauma
  20. 20. Time
                 
Listen to the new album from ENOK

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This Friday, August 28
ALBUMS
Anthem Edition Something's Goin' On - EP [Sonlite]
Bill B. Niche [Syntax]
DOE Shiloh [Provident/Sony]
Every Moment Holy: Prayer Songs, 2026 Q3 Anchoring the Heart in Hope (independent)
NRWHL Glory Be [The Charon Collective]
Noah Paul Harrison Do Not Go Gentle (Live) [Bethel]
I.A.N. I AM NEW [Syntax]
Prevailer Convalescent [Rottweiler]
John Van Deusen As Long As I Am In The Tent of This Body I Will Make A Joyful Noise Pt. 2 [Anotherland]
Various Artists Beyond Belief - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack [Girder]

SINGLES
11th Hour Today Is The Day - Single [Sonlite]
Angioplasty My Only (feat Shayla Van Tassel) - Single (independent)
Elan Brio Made For More - Single [Polished Arrow]
Kirk Franklin Thank You For Everything (feat. Karen Clark-Sheard) - Single [Fo Yo Soul]
Future of Forestry California - Single (independent)
Gaither These Are They (feat. David Phelps, Shane McConnell) [Live] - Single [Gaither]
Tim Hughes Make A Way (Live) - Single [Integrity]
Katy Weirich & Jake MacAdam Holy Ground - Single (independent)
Tae Lamar So Alive - Single [Polished Arrow]
John Long Trust In Him - Single (independent)
Adam Michael Pass the Parcel - Single (independent)
m1L, MotionPlus, Alias Molombo Made For More - Single [Polished Arrow]
Mountain People Worship No Lover Like Jesus - Single (independent)
Lexly Nirvana True Story (ft. VerbPro 12:4) - Single [Syntax]
Out of the Whirlwind Until Jesus Taught Me to Love - Single (independent)
John Pape The Road - Single (independent)
Leslie Perez Waiting For - Single [Gotee]
Matthew Plante KEEP FOCUS! - Single [Dream]
Sarah Reeves Made - Single [Curb]
Simply Worship & Sam Daniel Lamb of God - Single (independent)
Sleeping At Last Atom 17 - Single (independent)
Ryan Stevenson Eye of the Storm (Anniversary Edition) - Single [Gotee]
Tauren Wells Serve The Lord (Live) [feat. Davies.] - Single [Capitol CMG]
Sweden Yanulavich Holy City - Single (independent)

Next Wednesday, September 2
SINGLES
Alex Henry Foster Siren's Call - Single [Hopeful Tragedy]

Next Friday, September 4
ALBUMS
Sarah Reeves Standing Up [Curb]
Zahna Break or Breakthrough [XOVR]

SINGLES
Beach Chapel Cardiff - Single (independent)
Chandler Letner At a Bar - Single [Dream]
Matthew Plante FAVOUR! - Single [Dream]
Jon Reddick Tell Somebody - Single [Gotee]
Magdalene Rose Do You Want to Be Free? - Single [RockFest]
V1 Worship Still Worthy - Single [Dream]


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