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  Artist List   /   Confessions of a Traitor   /   Punishing Myself Before God Does


         


09. Death's Door

Punishing Myself Before God Does
by Confessions of a Traitor



 

 

I look at myself as the reflection I wish to see
But what I project just is not me
Is not me

What more could you ask of a man shattered and put back together?
I wear the stains, the cracks, the flaws
Forever

But until the trauma has taught me what I need to know
I’ll close off, shut down, a lonely march on death row

Forever judged by the things I’d say
Yet my actions have no weight to this day

I’m told the mountains too high to climb
The walls too strong to breach
Death’s door opens, to swallow me whole
I’m told the mountains too high to climb
And the skies too high to reach
Death’s door opens, I’ve lost control

There’s something haunting me
Telling me that it all ends tonight
All ends tonight

There’s something haunting me
Telling me that it all ends tonight
All ends tonight

I ask for mercy
As I journey across dark water
Sound feet and silent breath
A terrifying dance with death

I’m told the mountains too high to climb
The walls too strong to breach
Death’s door opens, to swallow me whole
I’m told the mountains too high to climb
And the skies too high to reach
Death’s door opens, I’ve lost control

I’ve seen the gates of hell
From grace I fell
Redemption is the story I’ll tell
Death’s door opens, to swallow me whole
I’ve seen the gates of hell
From grace I fell
Redemption is the story I’ll tell
Death’s door opens, I’ve lost control

Death at the gates again
Howling my name
Cannot greet you today
I’ve got a war to win

Death at the gates again
Howling my name
Cannot greet you today
I’ve got a war to win


 

 

 

 

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This Friday, December 5, 2025
ALBUMS
Leslie Jordan Memos - EP (independent)
JVKE & FORREST FRANK this is what christmas feels like [AWAL]
Knaladeus Never Left [Syntax]
Nunky Koma My All - EP [SOZO]
MATTHEWS The Darkest Light [Curb]

SINGLES
29:11 Worship Glory Glory - Single [DREAM]
99 APEX My Love - Double Single [Syntax]
B.Cooper Peace (feat. SIV) - Single [RMG Amplify]
Peter Burton Where Would I Be (feat. Matthew West) - Single [Integrity]
Cleansing Of The Temple Mary Did You Know? - Single [Rottweiler]
EJ Swavv, Edify, 1KChvcho Come From - Single [Syntax]
Alex Henry Foster City on Fire - Single [Hopeful Tragedy]
Heather Suzanne, Ian Austin Sleeping Child of Bethlehem - Single [Ocean House]
iNTELLECT, Procyse Lose Yourself - Single [Polished Arrow]
Living Again Dive Into - Single [Ocean House]
Myles Maestro New Life - Single [Syntax]
Ronnie Martin O Christmas Day - Single [Velvet Blue]
Seth Metoyer Flicker Of December - Single [Rottweiler/Broken Curfew]
Lexly Nirvana Honestamente ft. Manny Gee - Single [Syntax]
Q-FLO Heaven - Single [Syntax]
Run51 Good News (A Christmas Medley) - Single [DREAM]
Seventh Day Slumber You Say - Single [RockFest]
Tds Cam Scared Of The Beautiful - Single [Syntax]
VOTA Hold for Applause - Single (independent)
Zach Williams If God Lives Here (Live) - Single [Provident]
Yung Drew, De'Aris, prodbyzayne LEMME TALK - Single [Syntax]

Next Friday, December 12, 2025
ALBUMS
Angelica Walkin' In Faith: 35th Anniversary Collectors Edition [Girder]
Idle Cure 2nd Avenue: 35th Anniversary Collectors Edition [Girder]

SINGLES
John Long Thankful - Single [Ocean House]
Mountain People Worship I Don’t Know Where To Start - Single [Ocean House]


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